With Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire roaring into cinemas as I type these very words, it’s high time we took a look back over the decade-old MonsterVerse in order to castvan admiring eye over one of the franchise’s most satisfying aspects.
No, not overqualifed actors trying to make immense exposition sound plausible – no, I mean the moment that every monster fan waits for whenever gargantuan titans clash. The almighty finishing move.
While we await to see what hyper-stylised fate awaits the series’ latest building-sized antagonists, listed below are the top five most audacious take downs the MonsterVerse has seen so far.
Prepare to act like over stimulated UFC commentators as each of our giant combatants prepares to kiss dirt in the most spectacular fashion possible.
Mortal Kombat voice at the ready: FINISH HIM.
5) Monster Zeroed (Godzilla: King Of The Monsters – 2019)
Considering that the marauding, triple-headed King Ghidorah has been a golden thorn in the size of Godzilla since the 60s, it’s no real surprise that Michael Dougherty’s Godzilla: King Of The Monsters had an extra special fate in store for the Big G’s long time nemesis.
After a seemingly endless brawl that’s leveled Fenway Park and most of Boston, Godzilla gets Super Saiyan-style power up courtesy of the sacrifice of fluttery bug goddess Mothra and after melting a few buildings like wax, the mega-juiced lizard fires of pulse after pulse of immense heat that vaporizes his alien foe almost entirely.
I say almost, because the film decides to pull a last minute fake out when it’s Ghidorah’s head that emerges when the dust clears, but on closer inspection, we see that the dragon’s healing factor was no match for being atomically roasted and it’s merely one single noggin that escaped in one piece as it dangles from Godzilla’s maw. But the big guy ain’t done yet as he charges up his atomic breath at obliterates the last trace of the invading extraterrestrial and promptly moves on to demand fealty to the monster crowd that has gathered to watch.
4) Block Buster (Godzilla – 2014)
One of the MonsterVerse’s more to-the-point takedowns, we find Godzilla attempting to fend off the husband and wife tag team of a couple of bug-like MUTOs hope to celebrate the birth of their squirming brood by beating Godzilla to death in the middle of San Francisco. However, when the female MUTO is distracted after her young is blown up by battered bomb diffuser Brody Ford, she gallops over to her roasting babies leaving her multi-limbed boy toy to continue the beat down solo. After the melee continues with Godzilla regaining the upper hand by rolling out his atomic breath, it ends up in a face off as the airborne male takes to the sky and rockets towards the huge, scaly, cock blocker like an insectoid missile, but this isn’t Godzilla’s first rodeo.
Twating the MUTO with a pile driving tail whip, the King Of The Monsters makes the female MUTO a widow by smashing her fella against a building, impaling him on the interior structure like a butterfly in a collecters case. To quoth Starship Troopers: the only good bug is a dead bug.
3) Intestinal Fortitude (Kong: Skull Island – 2017)
While Godzilla has his bag of tricks that includes atomic breath, nuclear pulses and a tail whip that can shatter a skyscraper, pugilist monkey-boy, Kong, has to rely on more direct methods to deliver a fatal beatdown, for example, take his brutal showdown with a giant Skullcrawler that closes out Kong: Skull Island.
Due to the growing, Apocalypse Now style mania of Colonal Packard, Kong has been laid low long enough for a giant lizard creature to emerge from the bowels of the earth and start wreaking havoc. However, after taking up the fight with some blistering offence that includes slam dunking a boulder into its face like a basketball and belting it across the chops with a tree like he’s Babe Ruth swinging for the fences. However, a crucial moment in the fight involves Kong saving overzealous photojournalist, Mason Weaver, from drowning only to have the closed fist he’s protecting her in get snagged by the Skullcrawler’s frog-line tongue and his whole arm yanked down into the predator’s toothy throat. A tug of war ensues that the Skullcrawler’s insides impressively loses as all of the critter’s innards pop out with an almighty yank. Talk about dropping your guts.
2) Behead Of The Class (Godzilla Vs. Kong – 2021)
After the titular battle that left Kong as one battered ape, a new challenger enters the area in the shape of the newly on-line MechaGodzilla who proceeds to lay waste to Hong Kong like an abusive drunk on a day trip to Legoland, however, while Godzilla steps up to try and score two sizable victories in one day, he finds that he’s no match for his robot double.
While his former opponent is getting beaten like a government mule, a resurrected Kong is convinced to intervene and pounces on the mechanical bastard to find it’s going to take a little more than teamwork to bring this marauding mechanoid down. However after Godzilla charges up Kong’s axe with an atomic refill, the grest ape literally manages to chop his adversary down to size and the coup de grace sees the king of Hollow Earth wrench MechaGodzilla’s head clean off and hold it aloft while bellowing like a madman. Not only is it an incredibly triumphant moment, but, in a Kaiju moment of game recognizing game, Godzilla accepts that while he and his former ape-versary might not be indulging in drunken gaming nights any time soon, he’s definitely worthy of respect.
1) Death Breath (Godzilla – 2014)
Unsurprisingly, the best fatality that the MonsterVerse has ever seen to date, just happens to be one of its very first as Godzilla lays down a definitive victory that caused Kaiju fans all around the world to lose their shit with a single move.
Picture the scene, after dispatching the male MUTO, Godzilla aims to finish the job as he sneaks up on the female while she’s glaring menacingly at Aaron Taylor Johnson. While the explanation to how a 355 foot creature tipping the scales at a lean 90,000 tons is able to sneak up on anything isn’t immediately forthcoming, the MUTO is stopped in its tracks with a crunching bite to the neck which then leads to a spot of monster grappling just off the shore of San Francisco. However, Godzilla has obviously had enough of this and plans to finish things quickly and he yanks open his enemy’s mouth and proceeds to give her and atomic mouthwash as he blows his blue fire right down her gullet, thus ultimately liquidating her insides and detaching her head.
As a fist pumping, leap to your feet MonsterVerse mauling, it’s yet to be beat and it also single handedly made up for the fact that we hadn’t had a Godzilla movie for a decade at that point – but if the upcoming Godzilla x Kong has anything to say about it, the colourful, brutal kaiju K.O.s are here to stay.
Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire should be in cinemas this very second.
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