It’s almost unilaterally agreed that one of the most universally derided moments of comic book movie history is that of the 1986 Howard The Duck. When the film wasn’t bombarding young minds with the sight of the naked breasts of an alien duck woman or turning future convicted pedophile Jeffery Jones into a giant crab monster from beyond the stars, it was asking a family audience to accept a sexual relationship between Howard the Duck and the noticably human Lea Thompson and people at the time acted accordingly.
That, however, was then and it seems that in the years since it seems that our tolerance to beastiality have loosened somewhat as the latest episode of What If…? makes a species spanning relationship the entire basis of its plot as it spins its plot out from a famously outrageous episode from season one. Marvel’s managed to make a lot of things relevant again over the years, be it past Johnny Storm actors to the validity of The Incredible Hulk, but is the dating life of Howard the Duck a step too far…?
Remember that episode way back in season 1 that saw a party loving Thor turn Earth into rave central? Well in the wake of that, our planet since turned into a universal hub that sees beings all across the galaxy pass through – but possibly the most noticable aspect of this new status quo is that Darcy Lewis and Howard the Duck got married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas and have remained in the relationship to the point that Darcy got pregnant. After being in labour for a gruelling nine hours, Darcy gives birth to an egg, but their celebration over this new arrival is marred slightly when they realise that they have no idea how long it’s going to take for this thing to hatch.
However, a more pressing issue is that Darcy and Howard’s child was born during the great Cosmic Convergence and that, combined with its rather… unique parentage, means every tyrant, power holder and bounty hunter in the universe wants a piece of it for various reasons. The first to take a swing at it is the Grandmaster who mounts a lavish cruise and invites the happy couple only to reveal hmthat the whole thing us a ruse in order to make the galaxy’s most cosmic omelette, but once the The Duck family realises how much trouble their brood is in, a mad chase occurs that ropes in a worrying number of past MCU bad guys.
While Nick Fury and Agent Coulson try to aid the couple, the sheer volume of intergalactic bastards start coming out of the woodwork. Yondu the Ravager tries swiping it in order to deliver it to Kaecilius who is determined to sacrifice the egg to his master, the dread Dormammu of the Dark Dimension, soon King Laufey of the Frost Giants of Jotunheim wants in, as does Malekith the dark elf, Greek God Zeus, the Black Order and even Thanos himself.
Talk about putting unnecessary pressure on a newborn…
Even though the majority of the episodes of season 3 have been fairly light hearted, there’s always at least one episode during a run of What If…? that goes extra silly and ends up hurling everything but the kitchen sink at the episode to create a maximum amount of chaos. Last year it was Happy Hogan reenacting Marvel’s version of Die Hard as terrorists took control of Avengers Tower and the year before that it was the Party Thor episode and it’s fitting that What If…? final season decides to revisit such a memorable scenario. In fact, the concept of Earth becoming an intergalactic hub after the events of the Odinson’s planet wide revelry is actually a rather fascinating one that feels like humanity got a Star Trek style boost only it was kicked off by a global booze up rather than the discovery of warp speed. However, we don’t get to spend much time in this world as the episode is raring up to launch a frenetic chase that’s far more interested in delivering a fevered match to see how many easter eggs and deep cuts can shove in per joke.
I’m not sure what your opinion on the more overtly jokier entries of What If…? as I’ve heard arguments in the past that the more spoofy moments harm the more important aspects of the MCU continuity; well, if that’s you then you’re going to be pissed here as Howard The Duck Got Hitched not only delivers a who’s who of B-list, MCU wrong-uns in rapid succession, but it essentially casts them as the Marvel equivalent of the supporting cast of It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World. Destructive titans who, in the past, have formally taken the likes of Thor, Doctor Strange and the entirety of the Avengers are now reduced to stumbling over one another, doing double takes and doubling down on such broad shtick as the ice giant varient of Loki trying to sell parts of Jotunheim off as a skiing resort (is it weird that the majority of these guys are Thor villains?).
However, if you’re the kind of viewer who is cool with not taking this all too seriously and understands that this is all in good fun, Howard Gets Hitched is actually a very entertaining romp that makes the most of its onslaught of references as it digs out forgotten foes from literally everywhere. Was you ever expecting to see Zeus so soon after Thor: Love And Thunder; or Malekith ever again? Were you convinced that the odds were against Laufrey or Kaecilius returning at all were insurmountable, let alone seeing in the same place at the same time? While the MCU can’t always guarantee that it’s antagonists can keep returning as much as the heroes do, What If…? manages to allow such one and done characters to have a continuing life once their time trying to destroy the world is done like they do in the comics.
Of course, it’s a shame that barely any of them expect Michael Rooker, Tom Hiddleston, Rachel House, Josh Brolin and Tom Vaughn-Lawlor, are voiced by their original actors but if they’d managed to get Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Eccleston, Mads Mikkelson and Colm Feore to come back, they might not have had the cash to include Samuel L. Jackson and Clark Gregg.
Weirdly, with all the craziness going on, it’s rather strange that the central relationship of Seth Green’s Howard and Kat Dennings’ Darcy isn’t given more room to breathe a little more, especially considering both have quite good comic timing – however, their double act is natural enough to make you naturally accept what is occurring, even if what is occurring is somewhat fucked up. But with such likable actors at play repeatedly singing “I was made for loving you” by KISS and a rather sweet ending in place, what Howard lacks in genuine threat, it makes up for it by splurging a ridiculous amount of in-jokes across the screen with a big, dumb smile across its face.
Villain purists may be horrified, but those with a sense of humour will gladly embrace another Christmas episode that simply just wants to make you laugh. Could What If…? do with a tad more gravitas? Possibly, but maybe let an episode not struggling to show the benefits of a woman marrying a giant duck to try and take on that responsibility, yeah?
Enjoyably ducked up.
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