For a second there, I was actually having pangs of hope after watching the second episode of Netflix’s second season of its Arnie-centric, action comedy, Fubar. Some promising running jokes where fired up, some surprises were deftly handled and it even made me laugh out loud a couple of times, but my hopes of it managing to build upon any of this soon lagged once I got to third episode.
It’s not that FUBAR is overwhelmingly awful; it’s perky, camp-embracing tone could be genuinely sweet if utilised right and it certainly isn’t shy when referencing Schwarzenegger’s legendary persona. But somehow, it still seems to have no idea how to put all of these things together to work as a coherent unit – which is strange when the whole message of the show is learning to work together. Anyway, when the funniest part of the episode ends up being the title, you know something’s not right.
The team find themselves with something of a conundrum after trying to intercept Greta’s attempt to kidnap Demps, a man who knows (or knew) which four American power plants to take out in order to crash the grid and shut down the country. I used some past tense with old Demps, because the poor sod was blown to smithereens after stepping on a mine, but to complicate matters more, while Luke managed to discover the location of two of the plants, the location of the other two were discovered by Theodore Chips, Greta’s right hand man.
Of course, FUBAR has never been a show that simply nails it’s cast with only one problem at a time, so to add to their work load, Luke is drugged and kidnapped by old flame Greta, who steals the gang’s jet. Once arriving in an old safe house in Estonia, Greta sets about trying to get the info out of her ex while reminiscing about the old days while his wife, Tally accidently listens in. Meanwhile, after Dr. Pfeffer fails to get any usable information out of Chips, the group realise that they’re going to have to use his attraction to Emma to get what they want.
After taking the appropriate precautions (strapping a shock collar to his testicles ought to do the trick), they agree to Chips’ demands that he’ll spill his guts if he’s allowed to go on a proper date with Emma and so they go along with it. However, much like how Tally had to listen to Greta aggressively come onto her husband, both Emma’s ex-boyfriend, Carter, and her co-worker/admirer, Aldon, have to bare witness as the date goes surprisingly well.
After an expected action sequence ends the episode and Luke manages to escape in the chaos, one thing remains perfectly clear: after Greta discovers that Luke and Tally were actually divorced for fifteen years before getting back together, she realises that she actually may having a shot at getting back with her old lover if she resorts to some extreme tactics.
Well, if nothing else, FUBAR is certainly getting its money’s worth from Neneh Cherry’s Buffalo Stance as it plays numerous times during this episode. But while while the song is on the verge of being overused, the continuous references to True Lies seems to have shifted into overdrive as the show gives us not one, but two more dance sequences that brings the season tally up to three in as many episodes. In fact the one that sees a seated Arnie watching Carrie-Ann Moss seductively dance for him while slipping off the pole she’s swinging on is so similar to his famous spy comedy that all it makes you want to do is shut the show off and just watch True Lies again instead. However, things perk up with the second dance that sees Emma and Chips finish their date with an aggressively choreographed routine that sees both Monica Barbaro and Guy Burnet absolutely kill it on the dance floor. It’s the only part of the episode that actually makes you sit up and take notice and full props have to be given to both actors for absolutely killing it. It’s just a shame that it’s contained in an episode where nothing else lands.
I’m getting rapidly irritated with FUBAR’s continuing insistence to do absolutely nothing with almost every scenario it comes up with and the episode is just a list of potential comedy gold that instead just illicits dead air. For a start, after setting up the villainous Chips as a potential comedy highpoint thanks to his tenuous grasp on popular culture and reality in general, an appointment with Dr. Pfeffer to assess his mental state should have been a witty home run and yet feels frustratingly flat. Also feeling like it had the legs to be an instant reservoir for chuckles is Aldon insistence on adopting a pig that survived their last mission and naming it Hamsteak, but while the idea seems to be veering between something you’d find in a sitcom and Sterling Archer’s love of Ocelots, once again, the show bizarrely can’t wring a single chuckle from the sight of a spy bro fussing over an adorable oinker.
Dropping the ball on fresh jokes is one thing, but FUBAR now seems dead set on killing the old ones too; having Tally’s ex-boyfriend transform into a dressing gown wearing slob after being trapped in CIA lockdown with the family that’s trashed his life was good source of deadpan asides. However, as both Tally and Carter are both forced to listen in as the objects of their affections are being wooed by amorous others, Donnie goes from humorous side character to out and out dick, making crude comments and actively going out of his way to make a couple of innocent characters feel shitty.
Still, at least Donnie’s getting to do something, because forgive me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Milan Carter’s Barry supposed to be more of a major character as he was essentially Luke’s right hand man who had his own, romantic subplot and who actually (if reluctantly) went out on missions? If that was true, while the hell has he been reduced to becoming nothing more than an exposition receptacle with an afro who occasionally makes awkward comic book references. Elsewhere, Aparna Brielle’s Tina seems trapped in another series completely, where her twin plots are the endless evidence that she’s a mole and trying to find out if fellow CIA employee, Farkas is actually the villainous mastermind, Dante Cress. It’s bad luck for her, then, that both storylines are locked in mortal combat to see which is less gripping.
After a hopeful blip has once again collapsed into a unfunny mess where the best joke involves the reveal that Roo’s stolen a shoe from the vaporised Demps, or an aging Arnie confesses that he has trouble thinking up funny lines after killing a guy anymore (surely the action hero’s equivalent of erectile dysfunction). I’m not sure exactly how FUBAR is supposed to pull itself out of its tailspin without literally changing everything the show is supposed to be. Less dancing would probably help, and maybe stop clinging so tenaciously to True Lies – but surely the writing is on the wall when you’re even let down by a pig named Hamsteak.
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