After a somewhat muted response to Godzilla Raids Again, the King Of The Monsters took something of a sabbatical as he literally chilled out within the confines of his ice prison for an abnormally long time. Now, seven years doesn’t sound that long between sequels, but by monster movie standards of the 50s and 60s, it might of well been two decades – so what spurred Toho into bringing Godzilla out of his early retirement to rampage once more?
Well, epic prize fights always are good for a bit of publicity and so the Japanese studio made like Don King and started pulling strings in order to stage the brawl to flatten them all by enlisting none other than King Kong to butt heads with their radioactive star.
Bringing both original Godzilla director, Ishiro Honda, and composer Akira Ifukube back into the fold to handle the fight of the century, Toho also made sure things would be extra special as both monsters would be making their full-colour debuts and so the stage was set. But could the largest grudge match in history meet the massive expectations.
Mr. Tako, the buffoonish, brattish boss of Pacific Pharmaceuticals, is looking for a new ways to boost the sagging ratings of a tv show he sponsors (as you do) so he sends underlings Osamu Sakurai and Kinsaburo Furue to the remote and dangerous Faro Island to capture it’s reclusive God: The humongous ape-monster, King Kong. However, wouldn’t you know it, Godzilla has suddenly decided to free himself from his iceberg resting place and, thanks to a case of getting up on rhe wrong side of the glacier, grumpily makes a beeline for – where else – Japan. Meanwhile Sakurai and Kinsaburo finds that Kong mostly spends his days lounging around his own personal island, punching giant octopi in their stupid faces and getting utterly shitfaced on a narcotic berry juice made by the islands natives who roofie the giant ape regularly and worship him while he’s passed out. While the conseot of this sounds as morally uncomfortable as slipping a mickey to Zesus and then giving him a back rub as he sleeps it off, it also gives the pharmaceutical team the idea to stick the massive gorilla on a raft and tow the black-out drunk monkey all the way back to Japan.
However, with every attempt to stop Godzilla predictably falling flatter than a pancake and Kong escaping and choosing to go on a rampage of his own, plans are made to pit both monsters against each other in the hope that they’ll wipe each other out. After an initial bout that sees Kong unable to counteract Godzilla’s radioactive breath, the stage is set for a second showdown at the base of Mount Fuji the likes of which the world has never seen and will no doubt give Japanese bookies a gargantuan boost in business.
After the stone cold serious tone and overwhelming grimness of the original movie and the slick, but by-the-books nature of the sequel, it’s something of a surprise to reveal that King Kong Vs. Godzilla takes more of a cue from the big ape’s debut film and decides to frame things more of a broader, colourful, adventure movie. The result turns out to be camper than Ru Paul putting a tent up, but while the wild switch in tone is so sharp, it’s liable to cause whiplash, Honda is obviously having a whale of a time figuring out how to get these two legendary bruisers to face off. The secret, as similarly discovered since by future face off movies such as Freddy Vs Jason and Alien Vs Predator, is you essentially make two movies in one and intercut them together. Hence Honda stages textbook Godzilla shenanigans by having him trash submarines and tanks as he stomps his way inland, but mixes it with a classic Kong tale as the scenes on Faro Island (I guess Skull Island was prohibited) essentially mirror the kind of stuff seen in the 1933 classic as the seismic simian even gets a moment where he stalks around an urban environment with a screaming woman in his hand.
However, compared to the timeless adventure of the original King Kong and the furrow-browed seriousness of the 1955 Godzilla, their devastating show down turns out to be actually quite silly. Honda goes all in with slapstick and broad, comedy performances (Ichirõ Arishima’s selfish Mr. Tako acts like he could have come straight out of an Asian-themed Carry On movie) and ploughs right through problematic country by portraying the villagers of Faro Island as asians wearing black face and afro wigs. Plus there’s all the druggings and if I were Kong, I’d seriously consider approaching the authorities about all the times the islanders blasted him out of his noggin in order to prance around his unconscious form and have a bit of a chant. Also not aiding matters is the fact that Kong, frankly, looks a bit shit as his fur seems like it’s been fashioned from that mangy rug you wish your granny would just throw away and he sports a gurning face that resembles bigfoot if he had suffered a massively debilitating stroke – possibly from all the drugging. Compared to Willis O’Brien’s majestic stop motion creation, this suit-mation version of the 8th Wonder Of The World simply isn’t up to snuff and the film gives him barely any dignity at all – especially when he’s being infamous hoisted all across Japan by balloons in order to fight Godzilla while being (again!) utterly wankered on berry juice.
However, as this is a Honda movie, there’s still some social commentary squeezed in among the screaming faces and boulder kicking and he seems to be taking aim at the unscrupulous nature of television as it crushes wonder under foot in a desperate scrabble for ratings, no matter the harm it causes. Sure, it may be somewhat simplistic to wag a disapproving finger at the media when an earlier movie was an actual metaphor for the dropping of the atomic bomb, but at least the director is trying to add another dimension to his monster mash…
However, when the two titans finally lock horns and the humans finally shut up, the film finally earns its keep with a stonkingly entertaining rubber suited wrestling romp that, at the time, was the most epic monster battle seen on film. Yes, it’s just two guys in bulky costumes throwing each other around like overexcited boys at a sleepover – and yes, the zipper on Kong’s suit it predominantly visible – but if you go with it and enjoy the artistry, the dropkicks, tail poundings, judo throws and lots of boulder hurling prove to be vastly entertaining and the destruction of Atami Castle is truly spectacular as the two Kaiju bludgeon each other senseless while the world looks on like the crowd of a wrestling pay-per-view.
It may be tougher to take seriously than watching the Banana Splits start a fight club, but as a gaudy, camp stepping stone to where monster movies were heading, King Kong Vs. Godzilla emerges as a goofy, endearing champ.
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