Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996) – Review

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The main problem with studios employing a buy one get one free approach with sequel making (ie. making two follow ups back to back) is that it’s only worthwhile if the first of the two sequels is any good. If it isn’t, it’s a sure bet that chances of the third being as wanted as a fart in a spacesuit skyrocket violently as doubts about its quality overwhelm whatever lure the brand name might have.
This left Darkman III (magnificently subtitled “‘Die Darkman Die”) in a bit of a pickle, because while I’ve warmed to the cheap and cheesy Return Of Durant in the years since, it was barely a stain on the ragged, flowing coat of Sam Raimi’s original Darkman. Further alarm bells started to ring when you realise that Bradford May had stayed on to direct both, straight to video, titles, the rage started to build stronger than if someone refused to give me the pink elephant I’d rightfully won in a ball toss at a funfair. Bizarrely, however, Die Darkman Die actually manages to get closer to the moving target that was Raimi’s first movie than Darkman II ever did.

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We rejoin the hideously disfigured Peyton Westlake as he still alternates his time between being a dark, mysterious, avenger of the night and trying to perfect his synthetic skin that stubbonly refuses to hold its cohesion past 99 minutes and the constant failures are starting to take their toll on his already dangerously short temper. However, hope appears in the form of Dr. Bridget Thorne who was one of the physicians responsible for saving his life by severing nerves that allows his body to feel – something that’s quite handy when you’ve suffered burns to 40% of your body. Her request is simple: she’ll let him use her equipment to perfect his synthetic skin if he’ll let her perform an experimental procedure to repair his severed nerve and Westlake jumps at the chance to feel again.
However, Peyton’s diabolical streak of bad luck continues when its revealed that Thorne is the lover of vicious crime boss Peter Rooker who has targeted Westlake thanks to the misshapen superhero sticking his charred nose into his business one too many times. It seems Rooker wants to bestow his underlings with the same augmented strength that Peyton possesses and wants to concoct a super strength serum from Westlake’s biology and as for that number, Thorne did on Darkman’s severed nerve – well, she took the liberty of implantimg a shock device into his nervous system to keep the face swapping hero on a tight leash.
However, after busting out and removing the implant with a pair of pliers, Darkman vows to bring Rooker’s plans crashing to the ground – but after assuming the criminal’s identity in order to screw it from within, he finds himself bonding with Rooker’s neglected wife and child…

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While weirder and scrappier that Darkman II : The Return Of Durant, Darkman’s third outing actually manages to get a little closer to the mad cap tone of Sam Raimi’s berserk original than I was expecting. While part 2 kind of retread the beats of the original complete with the same villain, it only highlighted how cheap the film was in comparison and even though it tried hard to duplicate its quirky aspects (colourful thugs, Darkman’s over the top rage fits, pulp heroics) it was still a pale imitation. On the other hand, while Darkman III suffers from many of the same problems of a smaller production, it also seems to be going into noticably weirder territory.
For a start, the movie raises a fascinating love triangle between Rooker, Rooker’s miserable wife, Angela and Darkman as he pretends to be Rooker as he inadvertently ends up being a better husband and father in the space of a couple of nights than the real one could manage for the entirety of his marriage. While the dialogue is clunky and the execution is kind of stilted, it’s still arguably one of the most intriguing set ups of the entire franchise and adds a nice, extra layer of drama that’s a little more than just “kill the bad guy”. Amusingly, a quick glance at the credits reveals that the writers on the film (Michael Colleary and Mike Werb) coincidentally wrote Face/Off which contains many similarities when it comes to good guy/bad guy switcharoos.
Also getting a boost is the action content that, bless its cotton socks, actually tries in invoke the gargantuan action sequences from the first movie but on a cut-price level. Even though their budget obviously halts them from dangling Darkman from a careening helicopter or having him wobbling at the top of a construction site, it still has him unnecessarily clambering over flammable drums as wayward gunfire causes them to erupt or dodge an errant rocket that’s fired after his nifty little supercharged rail cart. In fact, you might get the feeling that they tried too hard when, if you look at the bottom of you screen during the huge, climactic explosion (the biggest shot in Canada at the time, apparently), the two stuntpeople portraying Westlake and Angela are clearly set ablaze when the fireball engulfs them whole!

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As before, Arnold Vosloo pitches in as best he can while smothered in the inescapable shadow of Liam Neeson, but he’s constantly hampered by weak special effects (his burned visage still looks like a halloween mask) and an inability to really nail the rage of the character due to his abnormally smooth, Afrikaans accent – although he gets to roar a triumphant “Got ya, ya bastard!” as a memorable, very Darkman-esque, kiss-off line.
However, while the other actors in the film give it their best, 90s TV performances that seem right out of an American soap opera, Jeff Fahey injects the movie with dose of Gizmo, overacting it’s obviously screaming out for and while his grandstanding performance vaguely resembles that of Colin Friels from the first film, you’ll find yourself wondering why he couldn’t have been cast as the tragic hero and Vosloo as the villain.
The other noticable thing that mars some of the undemanding fun is the staggering array of plot holes the movie comes saddled with; if his deadened nerve endings are the only thing stopping him from feeling his excessive burns, why the hell would Payton want to feel again; how does Westlake’s synthetic skin machine generate hair; why would Rooker think that juicing a couple of goons up with super strength would be enough to stop them getting shot and why is the synthetic skin still degrading after 99 minutes when he got it up past 150 in part 2. Well… the last one is because part 3 was originally supposed to be the second installment, but I can’t help with the rest.

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And yet, I’m still strangely fond of Darkman III – mainly because I like the character – but also because it’s trying so hard to match up with the first film that you can’t help but cheer it on for all its flaws – much like Westlake himself.

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