While I’ll freely admit that every episode of Tale From The Crypt has something worthwhile lurking within its creaking tomes, there’s some that tend to excite me more than others and that’s when one of the “original three” show up to direct an episode. The Original Three – in case you haven’t guessed – are the trio of big shot directors who helmed the first three stories that made up the pilot and who also executive produce the show too and whenever the name Walter Hill, Robert Zemeckis, or Richard Donner shows up on screen, you can bet your bottom dollar that shit’s about to get really good.
In fact, shit gets especially good thanks to Walter Hill’s second crack at the Crypt which gives us the truly magnificent and macabre “Cutting Cards”, which gives the filmmaker ample chance to explore his usual themes of macho, destructive behavior while giving the show a distinct, tougher edge. It’s time for one of the Crypt Keeper’s best story tellers to really show his hand.
Professional gambler Reno Crevice comes back to town only to discover that his hated rival, Sam Forney, has not only cleaned out everyone they used to play with, but essentially has the entire place eating out of his card flipping hands. Reno may not have shared a table with Forney for at least a year, but it soon becomes evident as absence hasn’t made the heart grow fonder as their bitter dislike of one another almost immediately spills over into a battle of egos. Agreeing that this town isn’t big enough for the both of them, they agree to bet with the loser leaving town never to return, but their first attempt to purge the place of the other comes to nothing when both roll a double six each.
Of course, these are the type of hardened, grizzled gamblers who have no problem escalating things at the drop of a hat, and before you know it, the two engage each other in a game of Russian Roulette to settle their differences once and for all. However, as the chambers rapidly click down, it’s Reno who is left with the final pull of the trigger, but after saying his final words, it turns out that the bullet is a dummy, which only enrages Sam and Reno even more. It seems like there’s nothing left to do but settle this in the most definitive way possible – with a game of Chop Poker.
The rules are simple. Each play a hand and the loser loses a digit, and then so on and so on until someone can’t compete any more. Soon the cards are flying as a cleaver stands ready for action and at first it seems that Reno literally has the upper hand thanks to Sam losing a couple of fingers early.
However, after Reno discovers that luck can change pretty damn fast, the final result of this bloody grudge match will leave both players completely and utterly stumped.
Back in season 1, Walter Hill gave us the wonderfully gritty “The Man Who Was Death”, a story that saw William Sadler as a prison executioner who kept up his line of work after losing his job that not only kicked off the whole series, but also served as a near-perfect example of the type of dark irony that the show was going to deal with. However, while that episode truly kicked all kinds of ass, the director of Southern Comfort and The Warriors seemed to be eager to show us that he was only just getting started, because the infinitely superior Cutting Cards proves to be an undeniable highlight. Continuing to trade on the type of hyper-masculine themes that the filmmaker frequently returned to time and time again, he turns in a minimalist piece that may be one of the shorter Tales that exists, but has three times the punch of the majority of the entire series.
The key is simplicity. Aside from a couple of random, minor characters (Roy Brocksmith’s bartender makes his third appearance in the show despite their only being nine episodes at this point), the bulk of the episode belongs solely to Reno Crevice and Sam Forney who are each given sufficient dramatic weight by the fact that they’re being played by Lance Henriksen and Kevin Tighe on tip top form. There’s always something fun about watching top-notch character actors go at it full force (in character, of course) and even though I’m sure that Henriksen and Tighe were perfect gentlemen to one another on set, when the cameras are rolling you’d easily believe that they’ve despised one another for years. Maybe it’s because both manage to embody their roles so well (Henriksen – cowboy hat wearing shitkicker, Tighe – suit clad scumbag), maybe it because the dialogue is sharper than the cleaver that comes into play later, but all the sneering, back biting and low blows all come together to build up a grudge match for the ages with only minimal screen time.
While it would seem that Hill doesn’t have that much to do other than just let his actors go, the director ensures that even though it’s plain we’re in a heavily stylised world, Cutting Cards doesn’t veer as much into full camp as some of the other episodes of Crypt has. This means that even though both gamblers are plainly world class scumbags, there’s still an incredible amount of tension as the two each try to out bet the other. As the episode continues and the pair graduate from dice to bullets, both actors give a mini-masterclass as first Reno, then Sam find that they’re now on a potentially fatal backfoot. Smug crowing gives way to genuine, lip quivering fear and swings right back the other way when the hammer clicks on an empty chamber and we really see what these assholes are made of. There’s even a moment where the two briefly join forces to scare off a passing jackass trying to park his car and watching Hill gleefully orchestrate this back and forth proves to be a major highlight.
However, we still haven’t gotten to the real meat of the matter yet; the climactic game of Chop Poker which demands that every losing hand costs the player a finger, and it’s here where we really get to see Tales From The Crypt take those kid gloves off. While the show’s home on HBO meant that the violence and gore content go shoot for the moon, there’s a sense that the show didn’t really get to take full advantage of it until this episode. There was blood, sure, but nothing super tangible that was played almost straight and watching first Sam and then Reno start losing digits is as darkly hilarious as it is genuinely flinch inducing. However, while restraint is a weird term to use, Hill is wise enough not to overplay the gore card, limiting the digit-lopping to only three in order to make sure that killer punchline is delivered with maximum chuckles.
Watching a limbless Reno and Sam attempt to play checkers while their competitive streak still boils within them may actually be one of the best (and truly funniest) endings that the show has ever produced, but it’s also something of a pointed statement about toxic competition and the depths it makes you sink. Beyond that, it’s smartly directed, flawlessly acted and a genuinely gripping slice of genre television that ranks high among the Crypt Keeper’s best.
And remember, gamble responsibly, yeah?
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