Maybe filmmakers need to give aquatic predators a rest for a bit. While the past few years have seen some commendable attempts to put a new twist in the tail of water based carnivores surface here and there, the arrival of Killer Whale proves that maybe the sub-genre needs to take a much needed sabbatical.
Dangerous Animals chummed the waters nicely by adding a serial killer whose murderous habits included feeding his screaming victims to circling sharks and Beast Of War saw a WWII spin added to the usual survival based shenanigans to keep things as fresh as the bloody morsels that were torn free of hapless prey. However, despite the fact that Orcas haven’t really been getting their violent due in cinema despite their prowess at pulling some really creepy shit, Killer Whale isn’t the movie to give them the spotlight they so richly deserve. In fact, the movie contains so much stuff previously used material, I’m surprised I didn’t find the damn thing in a thrift shop.
Maddie once was a talented cellist who struggled to stay in college by working extra shifts at a diner. I say “was”, because one fateful night, while she was choosing to miss graduation in favour of scoring an extra shift, her and her boyfriend Chad were disturbed by a gun waving robber looking to empty the tills. In the struggle, Maddie loses her hearing due to the gun going off too close to her ear; but while that essentially puts her career in music instantly on a different path, the more upsetting collateral damage occurs when Chad is pancaked by the thief’s truck when he attempts to get away. Of course, as we all know from a rash of similar films, grief, survivor’s guilt and depression hijacks her life leading her to be a shadow of her former, vibrant, self.
Enter the extrovert friend who, after a year of letting her estranged friend wallow in self pity, cannonballs back into her life with an audacious (and some might say insensitive) plan to drag Maddie back out into the world. Cooking up a spontaneous trip to Thailand, Trish, a scientist and social media influencer (no, really), also plans to see Ceto, a captive killer whale she was planning to visit with Chad despite the fact that she openly disapproves of animals being held in captivity in run down marine parks (as she should).
However, shifting to a move that’s easier on the conscience, Maddie, Trish and a local break in instead to visit the miserable orca, but unbeknownst to them, their visit is the trigger that sets the whale on a collision course. Having already seen Ceto go down the Blackfish route by racking up a body count, her murder of a security guard seems to galvernise the powers that be into setting the murderous marine mammal free into the ocean. Unfortunately, this coincides with Maddie and Trish locating a beautiful, but secluded lagoon to relax at and before you can say “Spree Willy”, Ceto’s looking for her pound of flesh for years spent in captivity.
At one point in time, I was thrilled that Jaume Collet-Serra’s 2016 thriller, The Shallows seemed to be the new muse for anyone wanting to make a serious, minimalist, but not too stripped killer animal movie after a wave of found footage titles and endless Sharknadoes. However, that film has now been so ruthlessly plundered and pillaged in the intervening years that all of its virtues are now devastatingly old hat that’s managed to bleed into virtually every low budget movie that involves some sort of vacation going tits up. They all feature either a group or a couple of friends reconciling as one of their number has fallen of the social ladder after a traumatic event that’s ravaged their hopes and dreams and once this healing holiday, the noisiest member of the lot usually suggests some sort of out-of-the-ordinary excursion that any rational person would veto instantly.
With all this in mind, you’d think that that director Jo-Anne Brechin would endeavor to at least try and do something different other than switching out the standard shark in favour for the mostly untapped virtues of a killer whale, but regrettably, the movie follows almost every single one of the vacation-gone-wrong format to the letter which quickly succeeds in drowing any scrap of originality completely. Jesus, the movie even cast Virginia Gardener in the main role despite the fact that she already has done extrovert friend duty in the noticably decent Fall. Now taking the traumatised friend role, both she and Melanie Jarnson’s social media scientist run the gauntlet of sunburn, thirst and cracking open their friendship to find some predictably dark (and utterly ludicrous) secrets inside. However, because we’ve taken this trip many times before, it results in some of the film’s missteps becoming glaringly obvious and becoming incredibly distracting. While I accept that the budget was tight, Killer Whale boasts some of the most distractingly obvious green screen work I’ve seen in quite a while and one thing that tends to difuse the tension of someone being stranded miles from anywhere is the fact that the visual effects lead to a constant reminder that they’re in a nice, safe tank.
The movie doesn’t even treat the titular monochrome marauder to the best of its abilities, which is a shame as thanks to various nature docs and Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s genuinely chilling Blackfish, we all know how savvy Orcas are at fucking up their prey. However, while Ceto does all the expected tricks (launching herself up the beach, creating waves to wash victims into the water), Brechin neglects to make any of them tense or even exciting, which is a shame considering what an untapped cinematic resource killer whales actually are. As a matter of fact, Killer Whale is so bland, it’s causing me to seriously reconsider the admittedly harsh two-star review I handed out to 1977 Jaws rip-off, Orca, that saw Richard Harris go toe to fin with a vengful cetacea.
However, maybe most annoying of all is a third act twist that just goes to show how poorly constructed the movie actually is. Having our hero loudly decry marine parks, and then getting drunk and breaking in is one thing and the weirdly murky plot device used to get Ceto back in the ocean (off screen, no less) is about as logical as a woollen diving bell, but that twist proves to be the last straw. It’s frustrating, because when it comes to dumb but fun killer animal flicks, the recently released Primate pretty much delivers everything you’d want from a movie where nature punches a bunch of vapid teens square in the face.
Boring, predictable and utterly lacking anything close to originality, Killer Whale flounders on practically every level. While I still believe there’s plenty of promise in the use of the notoriously intelligent, title beast, this is one movie that can stick it right up its blow hole.
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