Psycho Goreman

There’s somewhat of a saying I may or may not have made up when concerning movies that seem to be aimed at adults while being completely and wilfully fucking ridiculous which goes that “to make a movie that dumb, you have to be super smart”.
Whether I actually made this up or I subconsciously stole it from somewhere is a conversation for another time, but if there’s any merit in the saying whatsoever, than surely the makers of Psycho Goreman must be fucking rocket scientists who could cure cancer in a single weekend.
That’s right; following in the grotty, gory footsteps of such idiotic examples of genius such as Evil Dead 2, Bad Taste and Re-Animator comes Psycho Goreman, a lovingly campy, R-rated love letter to the kids shows of the 90’s that mixes its goofy bloodshed with a surprisingly potent burst of Saturday morning nostalgia.

Tyrannical little sister Mimi spends most of her time inventing violent ballgame that make no sense and terrorising her timid older brother Luke, but one day the bratty little shit stumbles across the Gem Of Praxidike, a glowing, pink talisman that controls an indestructible alien overlord from the planet Gigax who has been banished to Earth for his crimes and humbly refers to himself as the Arch-Duke Of Nightmares. However, his quest to destroy all life in the universe hits a major speed bump when Mimi exerts her iron will into naming him Psycho Goreman, forcing him into being her best buddy and getting him to join her and Luke in their childish endeavors.
Meanwhile, back on Gigax, the misshapen members of Planetary Alliance and their leader, the holistic cybernetic death angel, Pandora, discover that Psycho Goreman (or PG for short) has escaped his prison and vow to bring him down in order to save all life in the universe. But they’d better get a move on because thanks to having a towering, alien killing machine under her thumb, Mimi’s getting more drunk with power than she usually is much to Luke’s dismay; worse yet, Goreman’s old gang, the Paladins Of Obsidian, have come to earth in order to assassinate their old master and things only continue to get weirder from there.
Will PG succeed in his single minded quest to destroy all life despite Mimi’s orders and his obsession for “hunky boys”? Will Luke manage to get through to his lunatic of a sister before she destroys everything around her with her beloved new “toy” and finally, will their lazy dad Greg finally go too far and incur the wrath of his exasperated wife Susan who has had it out the ass with his worthlessness. A whole load of spinal columns will be torn out and faces will be forcibly removed before we get to the end of the story of Psycho Goreman.

Essentially the story of what would happen if a psychotic little girl managed to ensnare the villain of an 80’s cartoon under her thrall, Psycho Goreman plays like Louise Belcher from Bob’s Burgers gained control over Venger from Dungeons And Dragons and forced him to do all her weird, kid shit while he grumbles the entire time.
If that concept sounds unbearably stupid for you to waste your time with, I feel like I have to ask you what exactly you thought a film called Psycho Goreman was a totally going to be like; however those of you who are open to such a gleefully silly ride are in for a treat.
The brainchild of Steven Kostanski, a member of Canadian filmmaking group Astron-6 and director of The Void, Manborg and Leprechaun Returns, Psycho Goreman is a loving, latex, laden romp that is as morally vacuous as it is nastily funny. Fusing the sugar infused energy of the Power Rangers with a deliberately acidic kind of off-beat humour that demands that none of our shitty leads learns a single lesson for the entire duration of the film, Kostanski has handed us a very funny comedy refreshingly free of morals. Take the poor character transformed into a giant, bug-eyed brain as our title character grumpily follows the orders of a twelve year old girl with no discussion of the poor bastard ever being turned back, or the fact that PG’s endgame has and will always be to destroy all live on earth, no matter how this deranged story ends. It’s this warm embrace of unfettered cruelty that makes Psycho Goreman so strangely sweet and PG himself is an inspired creation. Utterly lethal and perpetually grumpy whether being forced to play the drums in a twelve year old’s band or transforming a hapless police officer into a screaming, gurgling toxic mess that can’t die (Astron-6 fans will be delighted to recognize Bio-Cop a mile off), his impassive delivery is dynamite compared to the petulant demands of his ghastly, pre-teen master.
The effects are plentiful, very old school and are 100% perfect for the tone of the film as the gooey members of the Planetary Alliance evoke everything from Roger Corman’s low rent Battle Among The Stars to that prime slice of 80’s cheese, The Last Starfighter and it continues to add to the feel that the movie is the pilot to a kids show that’s gone hideously wrong – or right, depending on your tastes.
Not everyone is going to get the joke, of course and some of you simply will not be able to make it past Nita-Josee Hanna’s performance of the psychotic Mimi under the pretext that she’s simply too annoying – but that’s the joke; it’s supposed to be a deformed, heartwarming tale crammed with people and creatures who have no intention of changing their abysmal ways no matter how selfish and harmful they are to others.
Dialing this home even more are other members of Astron-6 making killer cameos with Adam Brooks’ impressively lazy man-child father scoring big laughs (Goreman traumatically contacting him via psychic means while he’s on the toilet for use of his truck is fucking genius) while Matthew Kennedy also hoovers up some choice ad-libs under a ton of latex as an obtuse alien on the council.
Goofy, gory and gloriously stupid, Psycho Goreman is all about day-glo monsters, spine-ripping violence cool rock tunes and a defiant lack of morals that plays like the warped imagination of a highly troubled youth as he bashes action figures together in a child psychiatrist’s waiting room – and is all the better for it.

If there’s any justice in the galaxy whatsoever, we need to be gifted with a sequel, pronto so Kostanski can share with us more of this replendantly bat-shit world he’s created and cram it down our throats like the hungry little deviants we are.
Psycho more, man!


One comment

  1. “Nita-Josee Hanna’s performance of the psychotic Mimi under the pretext that she’s simply too annoying”

    I slowly raised my hand at this line because she was way too much for me. I understand a kid being carried away but her entire demeanor was too overboard. Now, I could be wrong but it’s like they wanted to make her raunchy like an 80’s boy would be like in The Monster Squad or Goonies. But they went too far. Kind of like a person that doesn’t watch or like football does while trying to impress a group of guys watching the big game.


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