Twisted Metal – Season 1, Episode 2: 3RNCRCS (2023) – Review

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After a nicely screwball first episode that dumped us unceremoniously into a dystopian future that mixes the usual desert roads and rampaging, highway despots clad in bondage with the kind of self-effacing humour that usually erupts from the maw of Ryan Reynolds, it’s time to get truly down and dirty with the more loopier denizens of the Divided States of America – namely Sweet Tooth.
Essentially Twisted Metal’s poster boy ever since the first game dropped back in 1995, this hulking, mask wearing, ice cream van driving psycho has adorned the covers of the vast majority of releases that the franchise enjoyed and now we’re treated to virtually an entire episode to the deranged bastard.
So pull up a pew, pay attention and prepare yourself for a machete waving Q&A at the end of the performance, because this maniac is most definitely down to clown.

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When we last left delivery man John Doe, his task to haul ass to bring a package back from New Chicago in nine days had already hit a sizable speed bump in the form of vengeful bandit, Quiet, who tried to steal John’s beloved car, Evelyn, in order to get some payback for her murdered brother. However, an even larger speed bump has arrived in the form of the frankly terrifying form of infamous lunatic, Sweet Tooth, a hulking beast of a man who wears a clown mask and boasts as tenuous grasp on reality as Tyler Durden on meth. After a brief chase, Sweet Tooth corners John in his Las Vegas lair with every intention of slaughtering him like a pig until both find they have an affinity for the musical works of Sisqó and after the clown takes the “mean” out of his demeanor, he invites John and a captive Quiet to view his one man show which proves to be as godawful as you’d expect.
Meanwhile, we are introduced to Mike and Stu, two security guards who have not only just lost their jobs, but are currently being prepared as meat by cannibals who idly chat about diversifying flavours and overdoing the teriyaki sauce (“I call dibs on the man titties!”). However, before these two bickering schlubs get served up with garnish, they are saved by the tyrannical Agent Stone, who offers them.a simple deal – join his army in attempting to force law and order back into the world and violently show any wrong doers that life no longer operates in shades of grey, only black and blue. While Mike takes to the brutal task, Stu has his reservations, despite the food and lodgings Stone offers for service.
Meanwhile, back in Vegas, Sweet Tooth performs his opus in front of a captive John and Quiet, but when a 310 lb psychotic clown violently demands constructive criticism, what the fuck are you expected to say?

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To absolutely no one’s surprise, pretty much the majority of Twisted Metal’s second episode sets up the franchise’s most enduring character, the gaudy, batshit, man-beast known as Sweet Tooth and if I’m being completely honest, it’s a blast to meet him. Physically portrayed by the mountainous form of pro-wrestler Samoa Joe and voiced by the gravelly pipes of Will Arnett, he’s the perfect fit for the twitchy, irreverent humour that usually splurges from the laptops of the writers of Deadpool. Be it randomly deciding to not eviscerate Anthony Mackie’s John Doe due to his responce to a impromptu duet of the Thong Song, to forcing terrified captors to witness his show which turns out to be a spirited rendition of the in-room entertainment you find on the television channels in hotel rooms that explain how things work. He’s just what the show needed to help it find its feet after a pilot that, despite being full of beans, nevertheless strained to marry its spirited bursts of gore and goofy humor into something other than a mindless, disposable diversion. Samoa Joe (real name Nuufolau Joel Seanoa) gives a strong, physical performance, nailing both the threatening and comedic aspects of inhabiting a being whose conflicting world view not only has him starving people to death for lols, but also is best friends with a  brown paper bag named Harold. In fact, Joe’s presence is so strong, I’d argue that the employing of Will Arnett’s throaty growl isn’t actually that necessary. Still, if having the option of having Lego Batman himself is on the table, I guess you take it and his vocals add that extra frisson to lines like describing a bidet as “a shotgun up the ass” or mispronoucing bon appetite as “bony tit”.

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Elsewhere, we’re also introduced to the hapless pair of Mike Mitchell’s Stu and Tahj Vaughan’s Mike who are saved from the apocalypse-typical fate of being eaten by cannibals by the righteous bullets of Agent Stone. It seems that Thomas Haden Church’s craggy-faced murder-cop wasn’t exaggerating when he claimed he was going to clean up the dystopian latrine that America has become and is in the midst of employing an army to help him in his endeavor. However, Stu is alarmed that Stone’s methods, that could be tentatively described as “entrapment” to some and “outright fucking murder” to others, are simply too brutal for his tastes. Mike on the other hand us far more enamoured of the food and hot water that comes with enforcing Stone’s laws and his to bat for his buddy. While it goes without saying that this side plot isn’t anywhere near as engrossing as the sight of a mountainous clown clad in an ill fitting suit passionately describing the check-out method for a hotel in front of a terrified – yet still bored – audience, but it adds the plot strands needed to keep the story percolating.
I say needed, because aside from slowly bonding at gunpoint and the late-in-the-day revelation that Quiet can actually speak, both Mackie and Stephanie Beatriz don’t actually have much to do except play off Sweet Tooth’s manic energy. But then that’s to be expected, I guess, as the killer clown will no doubt make sporadic cameos throughout the season as it roars across the ruined landscape.

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There’s still the usual amount of impressively unsubtle references back to the original game (John’s secret technique to getting Evelyn to start is an actual PS cheat code) which proves to be ironic seeing as the show doesn’t actually follow the plot of it, but it’s all in the name of good, unclean fun that, for all its wheel spinning, has mercifully found some traction among the childish anarchy thanks to its sugary mascot.

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