Whether you regard the V/H/S franchise as a vital entry in the realms of independent horror, or merely a disposable, failed cinematic experiment, you can’t deny that it’s the sole body still flying the flag for feature length, anthology frights. Sure there’s been others (Michael Dougherty’s Trick ‘r Treat is still a magnificent example) and the multi-story format has always had a more comfortable home on the small screen with Cabinet Of Curiosities, the Creepshow revival, Tales From The Crypt and many others; but none have managed to sustain the longevity to keep on trucking year after year.
However, with the third entry, there’s a noticable feeling that the franchise has kind of lost the mission as its array of indie wonderkind seem to be less interested in scaring the tits off you and more interested in having a bit of a laugh. Does this lighter tone – well, lighter for V/H/S, anyway – mean that it’s time for the series to press eject?
The wraparound segment, this time entitled Vicious Circles, concerns the camcorder addicted Kevin as his desire to film something and gain fame by having it go viral is causing friction with his girlfriend Iris. However, his unemployed ass gets a shot at his questionable dream when he spots a police chase on the news that’s going to be passing through his neighbourhood and so he dashes out into the night hoping that he can finally be part of something bigger than himself. However, after a viral video on people’s phones causes them to lose their minds and Iris somehow ends up imprisoned in the ice cream van that the police are chasing, Kevin’s desire for fame is replaced with an desperate desire to save his girlfriend.
Interspersed throughout these proceedings are, naturally, three demented tales and the first is Dante The Great, a story that’s partially framed as an investigative documentary about the titular magician, who arrived on the scene, seemingly out of nowhere, and performed knockout feats of magic that defy belief as he levitates members of the audience or transports them from New York to LA mid performance. However, after a string of missing assistants, we find out that the cape Dante (real name John) wears is enfused with some sort of unholy power.
Next up is Parallel Monsters, a sci-fi tinged tale that introduces us to Alfonso, a Spanish inventor that’s cracked interdimentional travel thanks to a portal he’s just perfected. Waiting for him on the other side is another, identical, Alfonso who also has perfected a multiversal portal and the two, unable to contain their excitement, agree to explore each other’s world for fifteen minutes and than meet back up. However, not long after venturing into his double’s world, Alfonso finds out to his horror that this other world his some horrific differences.
The final tale concerns a scumbag cameraman who has been hired by professional skateboarders Jason and Danny, to help film a promo film, but he secretly hopes one of the two guys fatally hurts himself so he can sell the footage. However, in an effort to find more interesting locations, the mismatched group end up in a remote flood channel in Tijuana that’s covered in pentagram graffiti – but after some stray, spilt blood awakens some robed zombies, the guys find themselves fighting for survival.
One of the biggest issues that’s plagued V/H/S from the start is it’s obvious lack of quality control with parts 1 and 2 each contain a world class entry that’s subsequently held back by a succession of far lesser installments. While V/H/S: Viral’s clutch of misadventures are better as a whole than the least of previous segments, there’s no absolute barnstormer to lift the film as a whole above the levels of acceptable. Another issue is that not only is V/H/S no longer trying to be as scary anymore, it also seems to be violating it’s own rules and this is best exemplified by Gregg Bishop’s Dante The Great, an energetic but extremely out of place entry that details a serial killing magician who is gifted his powers by his cursed cape. Unscary, pointess and just a bad fit in general, you feel that it probably would have played far better as an episode of Charmed, or something, but considering that by the halfway point, the story has jettisoned the found footage gimmick altogether, I can’t actually figure out how it made the cut.
Slightly better, but way too frenetic and muddled to make any true impact is Marcel Sarmiento’s wraparound, Vicious Circles, which tries to panel beat the existing V/H/S lore into something that plays like a low rent version of Stephen King’s Cell (and let’s be honest, the movie version of Cell is pretty low rent to start with). Constantly veering away from the main action as Kevin frantically cycles after an ice cream van that sending out the viral signal that’s violently affecting the population to focus on a Hispanic gangbanger barbeque or a woman trying to get revenge on the sleezebag who posted nude footage online. If your wraparound segment is struggling for filler material, then something is seriously wrong; and while we’re on the subject, what does a plot concerning an online virus have to do with haunted V/H/S tapes? Like, isn’t that the literal opposite of what V/H/S originally stood for?
However, swinging and saving the day is Nacho (Timecrimes, Collossal) Vigalondo’s Parallel Monsters and Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead’s Bonestorm which each deliver the creeps and the fun the movie had thus far been lacking. Benson & Moorhead entry may be the lesser of the two, but it’s still better than 85% of most of V/H/S’ output as the tale of frazzled skateboarders brawling with reanimated skeleton druids in Mexico is the ugly, smashmouth, shot in the arm the movie needs. Playing like some whacked out mixture of those weed reeking, skatebording videotape bootlegs that used to do the rounds in the nineties and Amando de Ossorio’s Tombs Of The Blind Dead, what Bonestorm lacks in plot or finesse, it makes up for it with gnarly violence and a nicely chaotic tone. It’s just a shame that it’s missing a satisfying ending and just stops abruptly.
However, definitively king of the hill this time round is Parallel Monsters which takes the concept of evil doubles from another dimension and gives it a truly original spin that gives us a view of a world where the main religion seems to involve demonic levels of satanism where snuff movies play on the television, blimps branded with inverted crosses hover in the sky and the inhabitants of this Hellworld can not only light up the inside of their skulls like horrible Jack-o-lanterns, but they also own monstrous genitalia like a claw like penis or a venus fly trap vagina. It’s smart, off-beat, unpredictable and incredibly memorable – namely everything that the majority of V/H/S: Viral isn’t – and if there was a way scrap every previous release in the franchise and just release a greatest hits package that contained Parallel Monsters, Bonestorm, part 1’s Amateur Night and part 2’s Safe Haven, you’d have one Hell of a movie.
However, there’s a very real sense that the V/H/S franchise has maybe gone as far as it can and maybe it’s past time for one final rewind…
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