Sleazy slashers don’t come more notorious than Charles E. Sellier Jr’s gleefully grotty, 1984, seasonal slice ‘n dice, Silent Night, Deadly Night. While a fairly standard, nihilistic Christmas chopper, its lurid ad campaign if a killer Santa sent people into an uproar as the notion of a guy slaughtering big-boobed bimbos while clad as jolly old Saint Nick caused them to campaign to have the movie wiped from theatres.
However, long after the screams of “Think of the children!” died away, the Silent Night, Deadly Night saga rose once again to provide a sequel that became notorious in its own right – but while the original was singled out for providing images that people feared could destroy the very fabric of civilised society, the sequel was put on a dubious pedestal for a whole other reason entirely: that of one of the worst movies ever made. Even if you haven’t seen the movie, you’re most likely aware of its reputation thanks to the meme of one of the most off-base line readings in cinema history (all together now – “It’S gArBaGe DaY!”), but make no mistake, this wayward sequel makes the sordid original seem as upscale as an episode of fucking Frasier in comparison.
Set four years after the events of the original movie, Ricky Chapman languishes in a mental hospital as respected shrink tries to probe his rage-powered brain. You see, Ricky is the brother of Billy Chapman, a young man who, after years of childhood trauma cause by witnessing his parents killed by a rapist in a Santa Claus suit, developed additional problems determining right from wrong after beatings from the tyrannical Mother Superior while he and his younger brother stayed at an orphanage.
If, for some reason, you haven’t seen the original, dont worry, this movie’s got you covered as its plot is covered in great detail due to ridiculously exhaustive flashbacks, but to give you the gist, Billy eventually snapped after being made to wear a Father Christmas costume and killed the living shit out of a bunch of people around town as he made his way back to the orphanage to obliterate Mother Superior. Billy’s sordid tale ended in a hail of bullets, mere feet from achieving his goal, but witness to the carnage was brother Ricky and the cycle of festive-themed trauma began all over again.
Triggered by nuns, Santas, sex or even the colour red (Jesus, what doesn’t trigger this guy), Ricky struggles to maintain a semblance of sanity, occasionally murdering the odd stranger with an umbrella when the pressure gets too much, but he seems to get a hold on his psychotic urges to punish “the naughty” when the shapely Jennifer enters his life.
However, when she doesn’t prove to be as virtuous as she originally made out, Ricky goes on a killing spree that eventually lands him in the mental institution we find him in now. Of course, Ricky isn’t going to stop a little thing like an asylum from finishing his brother’s work, so when the moment is right, he breaks out, finds a Santa suit and makes a beeline for Mother Superior to give her a Christmas present she’ll never forget… or survive.
Needlessly to say, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a collossal piece of shit, and yet thanks to its perfect storm of crude, first-week-of-film-school direction, terrible script and abominable acting, its reached a level of cult nirvana usually reserved for the likes of Plan 9 From Outer Space, Troll 2, or The Room. To be fair, if it’s your first time watching it, you kind if get a two for one deal as the sequel shamelessly employs a staggering (and fairly insulting) thirty fucking minutes of footage from the first film in the form of extensive flashbacks that the character of Ricky wasn’t even there for the majority of and therefore couldn’t possibly know what happened. In fact, so much footage from the original is utilized, that not only is the entire cast of the first film included in the end credits of this film, but I’m frankly amazed that its helmer, Charles E. Sellier Jr., didn’t sue to get a co-directing credit.
Recklessly ballsy use of filler aside, what new material we do have is amusingly terrible. For a start, if you discount all the stuff from the first movie, all the flashbacks that concern a grown Ricky seem to be set in July so if you do the math, only around 20% of the new footage is actual set during christmas time – not exactly a great ratio for a movie called Silent Night, Deadly Night.
How you take the rest of the film is entirely based upon your tolerance for poorly crafted horror trash as the movie proves to be something of a bulging sack of presents to lovers of cinematic claptrap. Eric Freeman’s lead performance as the maniacal Ricky is magnificently awful as he pulls of the genuinely impressive task of failing to nail a single, convincing line reading during the entirety of the film, either overacting wildly or hardly acting at all as his eyebrows amusingly rise and fall with every word. Inadvertently, it’s a source of unlimited, unintentional hilarity, especially the moment during his killing spree where he stalks down the road, giving out random, goofy chuckles and the occasional “Naughty” like he’s just remembered the punchline to a dirty joke he was told ages ago.
Adding to the whole, awkward feel to the film is Lee Harry’s direction, which proves to be flatter than a sting ray doing the limbo. Some of the kills aren’t actually that bad with an implement of a loan shark with an umbrella and an electrocution with a car battery being as endearingly stupid as they are completely ludicrous. Mostly, however, the film is just poorly put together with dialogue being horribly stilted and scenes being staged with all the panache and competency of a six year old child with a scene set on a cinema clearly looking like it’s being filmed in a large spare bedroom.
For sheer mockery value, it’s worth its weight in gold (and probably chuck in some frankincense and myrrh too) as countless aspects of the entire production are bound to induce chuckles from lovers of pure trash – one of the extras playing a cinema patron goes by the outlandish moniker of Spud Plugman – so if you adore shoddy movies or even if you haven’t seen the first movie, you might as well slap on another star to the rating. However, for everyone else, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 surely deserves to end up in everyone’s fireplace this Christmas – preferably alight…
Garbage day indeed.
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