I don’t know if you’ve noticed it or not, but vicious killers that take the form of sweet, unassuming little girls has become weirdly prominent of late as the last time we saw this freakish trope, itches Tiktok dancing all over the place in Blumhouse’s M3GAN. Well, brace yourself for another attack of the tykes with Abigail, a riotous vampire flick that has tremendous fun with the time-worn concept of a bloodsucking child and funnels it through the ensemble heavy lens of filmmaking team Radio Silence (directing duo Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett). Unless you’ve been sleeping in a crypt for the past couple of years, you’d be very aware that, besides crasting nifty chiller Ready Or Not, Radio Silence managed to bring the Scream franchise back its former glory with the cracking. fifth and sixth installments.
But can they do the same with a deceptively pre-pubescent, blood-lusting predator?
Better bring waterproofs, because things are about to get real bloody.
A rag-tag crew of misfit criminals have been gathered together and outfitted with Tarantino-esque nicknames in order to pull a job that will hopefully set them all on easy street. Forming the motley crew is Joey, a former drug addict who needs the money to start a new life with her son; Frank, a former cop; Sammy, a hacker from a privileged background; sniper Rickles; sociopathic Whelan, Dean and slow-witted Canadian muscle, Peter, who all settle into their Rat Pack non de plumes and get on with their job.
The job is to kidnap Abigail – the ballerina obsessed child of a wealthy father – and stash her away in a supremely creep mansion until the ransom is paid and despite the obvious posturing that comes with putting a bunch of career criminals together in a room, the gig goes off without a hitch.
However, while everyone waits and Joey attempts to console and calm the whimpering Abigail, a bunch of foreshadowing let’s us know that something is definitely not right and when big-ass coverings suddenly slam over all the windows and doors, the kidnappers soon realise that they’re the ones now imprisoned
Anyone who has seen the trailer for Abigail obviously knows the big twist, but the the assorted criminals are still fairly shocked to find that their hostage isn’t all she appears to be. Oh, the love for ballet is still real, but it turns out that Abigail is, in fact, a razor-mouthed vampire who has arranged the whole thing in order to have some amusement – plus something handy to feast on – to while the night away.
Stalked through an inescapable mansion by a pint-sized monster, the group has to try and work out what parts of vampire lore is utter bullshit before they’re torn to shreds – but even when fighting for their lives, these criminals can’t help but try and make some deals on order to live until sunrise.
Those familiar with Radio Silence’s previous output will no doubt be delighted that Abigail follows a similar pattern. Not only is there another violent game of cat and mouse set in an expansive mansion, but that keen, crackling, ensemble energy is present and correct too as a cluch of witty character actors fight for their very lives, trading witty banter with face fulls of splashy gore. The result, while hardly reinventing the Radio Silence wheel, is a massively entertaining rollercoaster that throws a big ball of jokes, scares, twists and gore directly into your face with the vast majority sticking like viscera on a kitchen tile.
Sticking Scream’s Melissa Barrera front and centre for their third film on the trot (there really is no other actress around these days that can make being covered in copious amounts of sweat and O Negative seem so appealing), she provides solid straight man material for the rest of the cast to bounce off, and bounce off they do. While Angus (Euphoria) Cloud’s mumbling wheel man and William Catlett’s ex-military type have a little less to do than the more overtly recognizable names, they still furrow nice paths for their characters until shit turns crimson, but it’s the rest of the cast who get to stretch their legs. Led by Dan Stevens’ swathy, tricky ex-cop, Frank and followed by Kathryn Newton’s ditzy hacker and Kevin Durrand extra-thick slice of Canadian meat, the group tread that fine line of making their respective scumbags incredibly likable, but not so much that you won’t cheer when they meet staggeringly violent ends. There’s something about a modern, post-Twilight, vampire film that embraces it’s gore soaked roots that makes my heart dance like the titular vamp herself and Abigail certainly isn’t shy when it comes to splashing the red stuff.
However, the real fun comes from the film’s much hyped villain and the film gets a hell of a lot of mileage from all the various character tics Abigail comes armed with. Obviously, there’s the ballet, which works incredibly well as the toothy lil’ bugger indulges in creepy little dance routines mid-chase as she twinkle-toes her way on top of bannisters. Also she sports the type of 30 Days Of Night-style dental work you usually see on carnivorous marine predators and former Maltilda, Alisha Weir, proves to be a tremendously fun foil as she rips, tears, rends and – obviously – bites her way through a terrified looking cast (the continued use of Swan Lake is a nice touch as it plays over the opening credits of the 1931 Dracula). The sight of the malevolent missy casually dancing with a headless corpse pushes the gore quota through the fucking roof, but the zippy script makes sure that it doesn’t rest too much on its laurels and makes sure that its third act is full of rug pulls and surprises rather than being a standard creature. However while I would argue that there are maybe one or two twists too many, I’d certainly prefer being kept on my toes than having a predictable experience but probably the best aspect of the film is that it’s a spiritual successor to such kickass vamp films such as Fright Night, The Lost Boys or From Dusk Till Dawn.
Now that they’ve got Ready Or Not, two Scream movies and Abigail under their belt, Radio Silence have now got me very excited to see what they come up with next as their brand of fights and fun matches nicely with my love of gory guffaws and eliminated ensembles. Plus, the image of a fanged ballerina with her tutu soaked in blood pirouetting and prancing toward her intended victim may end up being the most enduring horror image of 2024 by far.
Behold the child with truly intimidating teething problems.
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