Sometimes, I have no idea what the business model of Netflix is supposed to work. I get that most streaming services operate purely on a “bottom line” mandate that’s seen some fun shows abruptly cancelled and then swallowed up by the algorithm, but then you have shows like FUBAR who somehow bounce back for a second season despite the fact that no one else I’ve ever met has actually seen it. To be fair, seeing as we still don’t know how Neflix judges it’s shows, I’m just gonna have to chalk it up either to FUBAR being really cheap to produce or Arnold Schwarzenegger having particularly persuasive entertainment lawyers.
Anyway, whether we like it or not, we’ve gotten another go round of Arnie’s wacky spy show that picks up the rushed, confused action a few months after we left off. Can a promising status quo shift and the fact that it’s been over two years since the first season manage to give the show that extra spark?
When we last saw Luke Brunner, his family and all the people caught in their orbit, they found they had veen burnt with their identities out in the open thanks to vengeful terrorist Boro. As a result the entire clan has had to go into hiding and all cram themselves into a single safe house. Of course, this means that everyone is experiencing major cabin fever except Luke himself, who not only is back with his ex-wife Tally, but has all of his friends and family under one roof.
Not every is sharing his warm and fuzzy feelings, however. While daughter Emma is sneaking out and keeping her skills honed dominating at paintball, gentle ex-boyfriend Carter is hanging around like a broken puppy that can’t leave. Elsewhere, both Aldon (the reason for the break up) and Roo are doing their best not to kill each other as they share the same space and Barry is still pining for NSA data analysts despite the fact that we know that she’s operating as a double agent for some mysterious foreign power. However, by far the most pathetic (somehow even more pathetic than Carter) is Donnie, Tally’s boyfriend who has gotten caught up in this whole mess and now spends his days eating his cereal with beer and trying not to hear Luke and Tally having sex through the walls.
However, the tantalising prospect of freedom rears it’s head when the gang is briefed about Dante Cress, a terrorist big shot who dearly wants to reset the planet while killing 90% of the world’s population to do it. Before regional CIA Director Dot is killed passing on the mission, the gang get their first lead in the form of Theodore Chips, a man who’s been hired to disrupt America’s national grid, thus plunging the United States into the dark age while dragging the rest of the world down with it.
But once all the brouhaha with the national grid has been resolved with all the last minute saves that come with the show, a face from Luke’s past arises that’ll throw off all the equilibrium he’s finally manage to gather.
Obviously, someone on the FUBAR creative team figures if things ain’t broke, don’t fix it as the show is pretty much the same as it’s always been – that means that anyone who loved the first season’s mixture of glibness mixed with zippy, but low risk action that looks kinda fun but barely raises the heart beat is in for something of a treat. However, as someone who thought that having to be kept cooped up in a safe house with civilians was prime territory for some big budget sitcom-style comedy, I can’t help but be disappointed by the show instantly falling back into its old beats after barely twenty minutes have elapsed. I was hoping for less soulless globe hopping and identikit action (that Arnie can’t do any more anyway) and something more out there, like the CIA crew having to protect the civilians from numerous assassination attempts in the form of killers disguised as electricians and so forth that slowly get ever more dangerous.
We even get a tease about what that is like as the opening third shows us how everyone is dealing with being cooped up and Luke being the only happy as a pig in shit thanks to the fact that they have orders to stay put. The new character beats seem fairly fun, with Aldon and Roo’s jocular, brother and sister style relationship strained due to the fact that they’re living like college dorm mates. Elsewhere, Jay Baruchel manages to somehow increase in onscreen awkwardness by choosing to remain sequestered with his ex-girlfriend Emma in a “friend” capacity which proves to be suitably toe curling as she sneaks out to get her action fix by double tapping boardroom bros in the back of the head with paintballs.
However, bizarrely, the best change turns out to be the hapless Donnie who technically has nothing to do with any of this after losing Tally to Luke, but is still caught up in everything and has thus given up on life in general. The booze/cereal is great, but even better his magnificently depressing beard made out of cheeto dust as he sinks further and further into worthlessness. Even the returning Dr. Pfeffer who is loving the fact that he has to adopt a bunch of unnecessary disguises to continue the therapy sessions with the dysfunctional group.
But instead of building on this fun premise, the show drops it faster than a bad habit in order to go back to the same old stuff and soon is lambasting you with all the sped up exposition, by the numbers action and speedily figured out problems that quickly grew pretty damn old last season. It also doesn’t help that if Arnie was too old to fully do the action shit now, he’s gotten a step or two slower between seasons and once again, it’s a little disappointing that the majority of his action is him standing in one spot and dropping enemies with one shot without even trying. In fact, none of the action through the first episode is anything to write home about with some guff about having to negotiate and underwater pipe to thwart an EMP or something.
Once again, the each of the group has their part to play with Barry tapping away on the keyboard, Emma and Aldon do all the actual action stuff, Roo delivers wisecracks (her remarks that Donnie’s Cheetos beard looks like he’s been going down on the Lorax did actually make me laugh) and Luke does… action adjacent stuff that doesn’t require him to run or do and strenuous fight sequences.
Even a baffling fake out involving a near death experience for Luke (yeah, like they’re going to kill Schwarzenegger in the first episode) and the reveal of Carrie-Anne Moss as an old flame don’t anything to raise the show above its annoying predictable groove and even though the show should get a viewing boost thanks to the recent spy-robics performed by Ethan Hunt, the real Mission: Impossible will be me grinding through the rest of the season while finding original shit to say.
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