Why is it that plots for sports movies are just so interchangeable? Most, if not all, throw at us a choice between a cocky youngster gifted with raw talent or a grizzled veteran returning for one last shot a glory – but sometimes we get both if a mentor is required; there’s the inevitable pitfalls that are often made all better with some judicious use of some montages; and finally the end of the movie comes down to some desperate last shot at winning it all that often sends us out on a deliriously high. Basically, it’s the Rocky template and it’s proved to be so versatile that you could throw pretty much any sport you want at it and it would stick like heated tyres to tarmac, but the problem with this is whether it’s boxing or Formula One racing, things can sometimes get a little repetitive.
Maybe this wouldn’t have been much of a problem for Driven if it had been penned by someone trying to change the formula, but when you realise that the guy who wrote this also wrote Rocky (yup, that’ll be Sylvester Stallone), then you realise that a lack of originality is only the first lap in Driven’s race of flaws.
As we join the the CART FedEx Championship Series auto racing championship in full swing with hot new rookie sensation Jimmy Bly already notching up five wins on his belt which has shaken the confidence in his chief rival, Beau Brandenburg. However, ever the cold, calculated professional, Brandenburg decides to remove all distractions in his life to get his head back in the game and that includes unceremoniously dumping fiancée Sophia like a bad habit. Say what you will about Beau’s methods, but they seem to work as his performance behind the wheel gets better meaning that Bly starts to get on a losing streak.
While Brandenburg now has no distractions, Jimmy has nothing but extra shit going on in his peripheral and if it isn’t his pushy brother/business manager, Demille, lecturing him about the next money making opportunity, it’s his inexperience that’s letting Beau catch up to him. Matters get even worse when Sophia and Jimmy meet in a bar and form a bond which succeeds in pissing off just about everybody.
In an effort to reverse Jimmy’s subsequent slump, paraplegic team owner Carl Henry calls in former champion Joe Tanto to race and try and give the kid some pointers. However, the driver that Joe is replacing is the younger man who married his ex-wife, which only goes to spawn yet more drama between the green lights and checkered flags. In fact, with all the weirdly incestuous connections everyone seems to have with one another, I’m amazed that anyone gets any time to actually race, but as the soap opera continues off the track, tension continues on it with crashes, substitutions and mounting competition adding to the strain. Can Jimmy prove his worth? Can Joe live up to his past glories? Can Beau balance his lives with in and out of a souped up car?
Jesus, isn’t motor racing stressful enough?
So, you may notice that that I’ve made a few F1 references in there (and probably will do so again), but the fact of the matter is, Driven isn’t actually an F1 movie at all. While there’s probably hardened racing fans screaming at me through their computer screens right now who can’t believe I actually don’t know the difference between F1 and CART, I’ll freely admir that most of the minor racing knowledge I have comes directly from the movie Cars – and even then I wasn’t paying that much attention – but the most notable thing about Driven is that Stallone originally intended his screenplay to be about Formula 1, but found the organisation so secretive, he eventually give up and wrote it about CART instead.
That little tidbit about Stallone’s writing process actually ends up being a fairly good example of Driven altogether, as virtually everything about it seems to have a “let’s make do” attitude about from the casting from the direction as the whole thing seems to be a vaguely disinterested attempt to ape the aesthetics of a Jerry Bruckheimer production. However, while I’ve always been a little fond of Renny Harlin as a director, there must be less awkward ways to prove to the world that you’re no Tony Scott; and as the film progresses, you’re constantly left wondering if Days Of Thunder was really so bad after all…
Racing is all about chemistry and teamwork, but bizarrely enough that’s the exact things missing from the movie as the players sleepwalk from scene to scene while having absolutely no connection with one another whatsoever. Stallone (who I must again remind you wrote this thing) tackles his aging racer as if he’s still reading for an audition, which is even weirder when you consider that years later, he would get awards buzz for doing basically the same thing (but infinitely better) in Creed. Still, at least he has some screen presence; as does Burt Reynolds who despite being in the midst of pissing his comeback up the wall, still manages to bring enough of his old magic to play the gruff team owner – which is more than I can say for the rest of the cast.
While the dialogue does none of them any favours (Estella Warren deserves an award simply for making through a excruciatingly embarrassing scene where she does synchronised swimming on her own and then declares that she was “raised by frogs” while keeping a straight face) it also doesn’t help that their characters all have the soul of an discarded plastic bag and Til Schweiger in particular looks like he seem to be experiencing some sort of out of body experience as he mumbles his lines.
But never mind that. Racing movies are all about speed and adrenaline and stuff, however, while Driven saw Harlin’s career start its downward spiral, surely the man who gave us Die Hard 2 and Deep Blue Sea would be able to give us the goods when it comes to some high octane action? Unfortunately, Harlin seems to have misunderstood the brief and instead of gently pushing the reality of the sport into the realms of fantasy to zero in on the detail, he crams every race with weird bullet time (the atrocious CGI raindrops are very 2001), questionable physics and gargantuan crashes that all look fatal, but no one bats an eyelid until it actually involves one of the main cast. In fact, a truly bonkers sequence that sees Jimmy try to flee the rigours of the love triangle he’s found himself in by stealing a racecar and driving through the streets of Chicago while Joe gives chase may be the most unintentionally hilarious race sequence ever filmed as manhole covers are sucked out of place and bus shelters shatter at the speed of them whizzing by.
At turns ridiculous and boring, the team of Harlin and Stallone seem to think that to make a good racing film, all you need are soap opera drama and some racing sequences that are as believable as a cartoon, but while Driven has plenty of thrust, it’s total lack of brains, heart and originality smashes it into the wall time and time again. No wonder CART folded in 2003 and just for that, I’m going to make another F1 reference out of spite.
Formulaic One.
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