Well, here we are. After seven of the most uneven episodes of television I’ve seen in a while, finally we get to the big finish of FUBAR which features – among other things – possible nuclear armageddon, the aftermath of testicle surgery and possibly some of the most slapdash endings so some character arcs I’ve ever seen. To say that it’s been a bumpy ride would be an understatement the size of Schwarzenegger’s biceps during his prime, but over the last couple of installments, while the show hadn’t technically been getting any better, at least some of the running jokes had finally been given a chance to shine and actually were providing laughs. But does the season finale manage to capitalise on this while rounding everything off in satisfying ways? Um, not really, no – and worse yet it’s dogged determination to aggressively tie off as many loose ends as it can (rare for a Netflix show) means that once again the jokes are muted in order to get the gargantuan plot squared away. There’s twists, there’s turns, and some of it’s weirdly mean spirited…
Dante Cress’ endgame, along with his identity has finally been revealed as the shutting down of America’s power grid was only a feint to allow him to gain access to some American nukes and bring about armageddon. Oh, and I nearly forgot, Cress was Theodore Chips the entire time. Yep, it turns out that their deadly enemy was living under the same roof with them the entire time as their “prisoner” and he’s been playing them all, Greta included, like a harp from hell despite still genuinely fancying Emma.
Despite the hopelessness of the situation, the team manages to somehow turn the situation around; I mean, I say somehow, but even though I know how from watching the episode, I can’t be bothered to lay it all out for so just know it includes wired pulling, a spot of hacking and Luke having to bust out a famous catchphrase from a 90s beer commercial.
Anyways, while Chips/Cress finds that he no longer is in control of America’s nuclear arsenal, he still has the ability to launch one and by aiming it at Russia, the inevitable retaliation will bring about the drastic reduction in population he’s been shooting for all along. As he makes his getaway with Emma in hot pursuit, Greta opts to make the ultimate sacrifice by climbing inside the remaining missile and disarming it from within before it leaves American airspace and soon, everything is finally squared away and democracy is safe once again.
But wait, that’s not all – because now we have a whole thirty minutes remaining to wrap everything up so we can say goodbye to the expansive cast including Tina and the Great Dane… but not Chips. Seems likes Emma likes her Chips well and truly fried…
Once again, another episode of FUBAR is undone by an overabundance of exposition that’s violently crammed down your throat in order for you to follow the action. I genuinely lost count how many times one of the actors had to hurriedly blurt out random tech specs or factoids about the plan they’ve desperately throw together presumably because the show weirdly doesn’t want to create a plot hole or something. This is especially strange and distracting when you consider the entire fucking show has been one massive plot hole from the start but the episode still insists that it explains the nuclear infrastructure of NORAD like a speed talker on a sugar rush. It’s worse than distracting, it’s fucking annoying and if you have to spend the entire action scene explaining to the audience what you’re doing and why you’re doing it at all times, maybe you should have just made it simpler?
Elsewhere, FUBAR finally manages to address a plot issue that up until now hasn’t actually been high on its list of priorities, aka. the identity of arch villain Dante Cress; however, now thatvwe know that it was Chips all along, I have to confess that it’s actually pretty lazy and a bit shit too if I’m being honest. You see, it’s not a massive reveal that shows that Chips was putting on an odd facade all along and suddenly reveals his true personality, no; he’s still the same old muddled, earnest Chips who probably still thinks Garfield is still called Clancy and continues to have the hots for Emma. The lack of transition just means that despite a visual entertaining gunfight/case that see both of them leap down the silo using multiple levels like a platform game, ultimate Chips’ transition to series big bad just feels as unearned as it is random.
Regrettably, the episode’s laugh rate goes up in flames along with Chips. Due to the dense, over explanatory dialogue, almost none of the jokes have any room to maneuver at all and the rare ones that do, crash and burn like like a redirected missile. After that cracking Conan reference last episode, we now get to see Schwarzenegger mugging relentlessly to perform an unbearably awful “Wassup!” joke that would have felt excruciatingly dated in 2002, let alone now. Yes, the recent jokes concerning Hamsteak’s photoshoot and Carter and Donnie going on a wild, drug fueled, mini adventure may not have added much to the main plot, but at least they were fun; in the mad race to wrap up the action, the show may keep a perky pace as always, buy it proves to be as funny as foot fungus.
But with the end of the world being thwarted with around thirty minutes left to go, the rest of the episode is literally spent trying to close off as many arcs as possible. While I’ll admit that it’s fairly refreshing to see a Netflix show that’s actually trying to leave as little loose ends as possible (fans of Santa Clarita Diet and Final Space will attest that it’s not particularly high on the streaming giant’s agenda), unless you are incredibly enamoured of the show, it ends up being something of a self serving slog that deals out some pretty weird endings.
Simply put, it turns out that Luke and Tally splitting up was really a ploy to try and use Greta’s love in order to eventually switch sides (or something); Greta somehow survives being locked inside a crashing missile thanks to special foam, but then suddenly seems to be cool with not pursuing her former paramore any more (best not to think too much about it, I find); and Emma declines her promotion in order to stay with the team. However, not everyone gets such a neat ending and I have to give credit to the show for being amusingly cruel to Carter and Donnie by keeping them in protective custody due to them murdering a high ranking member of that biker gang and shipping them off to Greenland for over 40 months.
Of course, if FUBAR gets greenlit for a third season there would have to be something of an overhaul that probably would negate the complete reason for its existence. It would probably be a good idea to ditch Arnie entirely and focus on the younger team as they go and liberate Tina from the Russians, but considering the whole show was launched off of his broad shoulders, maybe it’s best to let this insanely flawed show retire once and for all. That’s it and that’s all – and good riddance.
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