So far, the three episode premiere of season 3 seems to be all over the place. With “Loved To Death” we got a weak comedy that wasn’t especially funny, scary or even particularly interesting, but with the enjoyably nasty “Carrion Death”, we an early contender for season’s best as a criminal Kyle MacLachlan tasted desert justice at the beak of a hungry vulture. In an attempt to sway the scale, the deciding vote now belongs at the feet of “The Trap”, a tale of scams gone south that boasts the latest member of the stars-turned-directors club – but can Michael J. Fox manage to save the premiere when his episode seems to be – gasp – yet another goofy crime caper?
Who would have thought that the reputation of the Crypt Keeper would end up in the hands of none other than Marty McFly? Not me, but this is Tales From The Crypt and far crazier things have happened.
Meet Lou Paloma, a swaggering schlub who can’t hold down a job and has gotten himself and his long suffering wife, Irene, into a ton of debt. However, after spending precious little time in his company, it’s obvious that his hard-luck stories are all just excuses to hide the fact that he’s just a lazy, brutish shit who won’t take responsibility for anything he’s ever said or done. However, with numerous people demanding their money, Lou hits on a get rich quick scheme that could sort out his cash flow problems for good – fake his own murder and get Irene to claim on his life insurance.
If this sideburned idiot is going to have any chance of pulling this scam off, he’s going to need the help of his good-hearted, but bullied younger brother, Billy, who just so happens to work as a coroner. As the three rearrange the furniture to make it look like a robbery gone wrong, Billy ensures that Lou’s cadaver make up and fake knife wound look real enough to fool the police who answer the call and due to some sort of miracle, they manage to pull it off. Similarly, they also manage to fool Lou’s devoted mother, despite having an open casket funeral – but as it seems that the thuggish slob is free and clear, it seems that Irene and Billy have fallen for each other.
Sending Lou abroad with fifteen grand to get plastic surgery and lay low for a while, his wife and his brother claim they’re going to settle his affairs while he’s away, but after months of basking in endless sunsets, Lou starts to get suspicious.
However, upon returning home he finds that some things have changed for the better – just not for him. Billy and Irene have married, cashed his life insurance and are living like kings and claim that this man who has arrived at their doorstep claiming to be the officially dead Lou Paloma is nothing more than a sick imposter. Worse yet, Lou’s prints were all over the “murder” weapon and after a lengthy trial, he discovers that his plan has worked a little too well when he’s framed for his own murder and gets the electric chair as a final reward…
As we draw to the end of of this little, self contained drama that’s encompassed the three-episode premiere of season 3, I guess at the end of the day we’ll have to call it a draw. While the first installment, “Loved To Death”, was the worst example of the show lurching into obnoxious, farcial comedy, the superlative “Carrion Death” reminds us exactly how much fun the show can be when it sets its sights on the more extreme end of the spectrum, but we find that Michael J. Fox’s “The Trap” sits somewhere in the middle. Yes, we find the season once again knocking on the door of the broadly comedic thriller that contains obnoxiously exaggerated characters, but while so many past episodes use the trope to deliver a string of unmemorable season fillers, Fox’s attempt manages to keep it’s head above water due to some nifty comedic timing of those involved.
Maybe all those years of delivering snappy one liners on Family Ties honed Fox’s skills to a fine edge, or maybe it’s the exact reason Robert Zemekis replaced Eric Stoltz with him back in those Back To The Future days, but while a lot of first-time directors tend to trust that going all in on a silly, comic book aesthetic will carry them through, Fox is obviously trying to layer the comedy more through it’s characters – namely, Bruce McGill’s magnificent sack of crap, Lou Paloma.
One of Tales From The Crypt’s most endearing strengths is that it gives directorial shots to random filmmakers to allow them to have fun, even if it’s the likes of Michael J. Fox or Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, the other great thing about the show is that it often gives prolific character actors a chance to take the lead and go to town and in the case of McGill’s Paloma, it provides a hefty backbone to an admittedly light entry. Going full sleaze-bag from beneath a Ron Jeremy mustache, a fake mole and thick-ass sideburns, McGill having the time of his life whipping up this thoroughly odious, abusive mouth breather and Teri Garr and and Bruno Kirby barely have to do any work to remain sympathetic in the presence of such a monster. But while anyone can slap on a wig and act the bastard, McGill brings such a neat sense of timing to his wannabe con artist that makes him fun to watch – especially when he’s playing the heel.
Another string to The Trap’s bow is that while a lot of the more comedic episodes tend to coast on their exaggerated characters or their outlandish twist, Fox ensures that his episode has a bit more meat on its bones and drops in a few comedy setpieces to spice up the double con plot. Joe’s near-farce of a funeral involves him almost burnt alive in his coffin as Irene and Billy hungrily make out on the lid, we gradually watch his patience erode as a friendly waiter gets on his nerves during his stay in Rio de Janeiro and he almost repeatedly blows his own fake murder due to the fact that he has itchy balls. Even Fox himself pops up as an arrogant lawyer during the trial and we even get a role for his old Hill Valley buddy, James Tolkan, as a typically hard bitten cop – but while The Trap emerges as a confidently above average entry in the comedic Crypt cannon, I have to say these types of episodes aren’t really the ones I want to see anymore.
When you have episodes that push the envelope like “Cutting Cards”, “Television Terror”, “Carrion Death”, “The Ventriloquist’s Dummy” and “Dig That Cat, He’s Real Gone”, the more saner episodes start to feel a bit too much like filler, despite how good they ultimately be. However, considering how many people seem to get the electric chair in this show, I’m truly surprised that no one’s thought to drop William Sadler in as his executioner character from “The Man Who Was Death” as some sort of retroactive cameo. Not really the point, but that’s where my imagination goes when the Crypt pulls its punches.
A perfectly respectable offering by Michael J. Fox is let down by the fact that this season is in desperate need of some of that frenzied, bloody energy the previous seasons bestowed upon us. Fox’s name was presumably enough to get this lumped into the season premiere, but it’s carrying mid-season energy at best and if future Tales want to regain that clown of carnage it wears with pride, things need to get fucked-up and crazy pretty sharpish.
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