Look, you can debate all you like about the merits (or lack thereof) of the Mila Jovovich Resident Evil movies, but I for one never really liked them. Maybe it was was because, in a previous incarnation, the first adaptation had tapped none other than George A. Romero to direct before ultimately settling on Paul W. Anderson instead. Maybe it’s because the films ended up becoming endless scenes of adolescent posturing and posing set to grating techno. Or maybe it’s because everything that’s come after the six-film saga has failed to provide anything that’s more than just forgettable drivel (did you see the Netflix TV show?).
Yes, if any franchise needed a T-Virus style alteration of its genetic structure, it’s this one, and willing to deliver it is none other than newly minted horror superstar, Zach Cregger, still fresh off from his one-two punch of Barbarians and Weapons. But can Cregger find a more linear path through this brand name after proving himself with movies that jumbled up timelines like the virus juggles human DNA? Oh you betcha.
Lowly medical courier Bryan is having some personal issues when his immature brain has to handle the shock of his girlfriend announcing that she’s pregnant. As his mind races about what he’s supposed to say and how he’s supposed to say it, he fumbles the ball as he can’t stop himself from dodging the issue. However, after making his last drop for the night, he finds that there’s one last emergency job to take, and since he needs the money and a distraction from his personal conundrum, he accepts – after all, it’s just a quick drive to Racoon City, what can go wrong?
Well, for a start, the roads leading up to the mountain town are as icy as hell, and things get steadily worse when a woman runs out of the woods in front of Bryan’s car only to get violently bounced off his bonnet. Bryan locates the injured woman after she crawls off into the woods and loads her into his car as he’s heading to the local hospital anyway, but it soon becomes apparent that there’s a lot wrong with this woman that goes way beyond shock and blunt force trauma. After an altercation with a wary police officer, matters soon spiral out of control and the hapless courier realises that he’s wandered into a city that’s undergoing something of a severe medical emergency.
Slowly piecing together that Racoon City has been infected with a virus that’s turning its residents into biological, body horror nightmares, the only thing that can seemingly stop it from spreading further is what’s in Bryan’s courier bag. However, rather than being some sort of lithe, special forces type, Bryan is just a normal guy and is something of an idiot in the face terrifying life or death situations involving mutant tentacles and body absorbing monsters. How can he possibly manage to negotiate a city heaving with biological peril and save the day if he can’t even negotiate a simple padlock?
In these times of “elevated horror”, I’ve appreciated the numerous entries that’s delived dread-laden, social commentary and numerous thoughtful ruminations on trauma and grief – but every now and then, it’s just nice to have some fun that requires nothing of you other that you laugh, jump and spill some of that expensive popcorn. Basically what I’m saying is, it’s good to have stuff like Hereditary, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also have Evil Dead II or Zach Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead too. Zach Cregger’s Resident Evil is not only that kind movie, it’s trying specifically to be that kind movie and it’s all the better for it. Ditching his usual recipe of fractured timelines, Cregger keeps a rigid path here, taking us relentlessly from A to B while never leaving the side of its central fuck-up as he shrieks, gibbers and bumbles through a nightmare scenario like a newbie the first time they ever play a survival horror game on their chosen console.
And that’s the point. Yes, Cregger has opted to deliver a Resident Evil movie that ruthlessly dispenses with 95% of the extensive video game lore. But instead of buffeting us with cameos of Leon Kennedy, Ava Wong and the like, the director has ingeniously retro-fitted the franchise to feel more like the actual experience of playing a Resident Evil game rather than trying to wrestle it’s sizable continuity into touch. The result is a diabolically funny farce that leans into all the quirks gamers will familiar with as we watch Bryan puzzle over guns, search for ammo, struggle to solve rudimentary puzzles and engage in a dynamite running joke about how every locked padlock he comes across is frustratingly bullet proof. This would be in danger of becoming tiresome if the main actor didn’t understand the joke, but thankfully Austin Abrams (who’s having something of a traumatic year with the upcoming man-swallowed-by-whale flick, Whalefall), totally gets it, and delivers some of the best botched heroics seen since Bruce Campbell in the original The Evil Dead. Be it screaming like a girl or making face-palming decisions that’ll have you groaning out loud, we’re stuck with him every step of the way, and part of the fun is internally screaming that he should be going left when the affable dumbass constantly goes right.
I mentioned earlier that George Romero once was in contention to take a crack at adapting the first game, and while fate deprived us of what that could have looked like, Cregger has ultimately technically given us “John Carpenter’s Resident Evil” by essentially blending the single-night thrills of Escape From New York with the broiling body horror of The Thing as writhing tentacles lash out in the snow and the human form stubbornly refuses to keep it’s original shape. As result, we bounce from memorable setpiece to memorable set piece in a way that miraculously doesn’t feel episodic, and offers such sights as zombies raining down on Byran from the rooftops, an acid-puke related elevator incident, a pale obese man sitting in the sewers and a multi-limbed creature known as the amalgam monster who just won’t leave Bryan alone, and the shittier his night gets, the darkly funnier it becomes.
No doubt there will be those who throw their little tantrums that Cregger has decided to make something original instead of sticking closer to the games, but seriously ask yourself; would want yet another dopey entry that does a bad job of realising the established continuity, or would you rather that one of horror’s hottest talents takes the universe somewhere new to deliver a body horror version of After Hours? I know which one I’d go for and if Resident Evil is a sign that horror movies are about to get fun again, I’ll happily inject a dose of it into my veins right now.
Zach Cregger manages to revive the Resident Evil franchise in a tight, 95 minute, thrill-fest that delivers just the right concoction of scares, laughs and severely fucked up monsters to offer a rip-roaring, adrenaline-fueled roller coaster that easily stands as the best of the franchise. However, it’s the deep, inherent love and replication of the minutiae of actually playing a survival horror game that truly makes Resident Evil such a satisfying place to settle down.
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Where to watch Resident Evil: