Well, we’re finally here. After a couple of official rounds and more bonus side missions than were strictly necessary, the grand final of the Twisted Metal tournament is finally about to get underway and things are about to get serious – or, at least as serious as Twisted Netal allows itself to be. Of course, now we’re in the sudden death period where, in the penultimate episode, anything goes and probably will – but after a season that’s seen a possessed baby, a man/car hybrid and a legitimate orgy, can the show still have anymore surprises left in the tank for its big finish?
Well, how about arguably the most game-accurate episode to date, some legitimately shocking deaths and a final boss fight that made me genuinely grab for a PS1 controller. That’s right, in its final installments, the show that loves to go for broke goes even broker (so to speak) as grudges must be settled and a winner must finally be chosen to see who gets that all-important wish after all that twisted metal.
After storming out of the tournament after totalling her car and convincing herself that John and Quiet aren’t really her friends, a heartbroken Mayhem is stopped by Calypso’s goons due to the weird, experimental, killing machine he’s creating as a surprise for the final. However, instead of punishing her or doing some strange, funky, demon shit, Calypso merely brings her into his VIP box to watch the climax in style and before you know it, the surviving contenders make their way to the battle arena.
To their surprise, they see that not only has their desperate exploits over the last few days been televised, but there’s also a massive live audience present made up of segregated groups of both cheering Insiders and Outsiders. Before you know it, shit’s kicked off, with John and Quiet in separate, identical Roadkills working together to win this thing, but they have stiff competition from a reunited Mike and Stu, an incensed Raven, a typically deranged Sweet Tooth and his mortal enemy, Mr. Grimm as the air soon grows thick with bullets.
First, Mike is cut down in his driver’s seat causing Stu to crash and Sweet Tooth also becomes a surprising early casualty after his vehicle gets taken out by Raven. However, John and Quiet rally back, fatally taking out John’s former boss/jailer and even explosively relieving Grimm of his motorcycle so he can have that final, bloody grudge match with Sweet Tooth.
But when it looks like Quiet and John are on the verge of victory, Calypso pulls yet another one of those fucking twists he loves so much and in an attempt to give the tournament a final boss battle, he unleashes his secrets weapon. But can a bio-robotic death machine known as Minion add the requisite spice Calypso is looking for and who is the last one standing when the Twisted Metal tournament comes to its shocking end?
With every passing episode, there’s been a real sense of mounting threat as we’ve approached to this moment, primarily because the second season of Twisted Metal has been working overtime to make us give a shit about the motley array of killers and lunatics we’ve been spending time with for the last ten episodes or so. To be fair, the fact that the show morphed into more of a classic example has admittedly meant that Anthony Mackie’s John and Stephanie Beatriz’s Quiet relationship has drifted a little into the background to make room for the budding plots concerning the likes of Mayhem, Axel and the tempestuous relationship between best bros Mike and Stu. However, the decision to do so has paid dividends as we head into the final tournament as not only was I genuinely unsure who was going to survive and who was actually going to win. As a result my jaw dropped more than once as certain names dropped out of the running permanently in spurts of blood and gargantuan explosions as even characters you thought would probably buy the farm exit the show in jarring fashion. If we’re being honest, the action is the same frenetic mix of stirring needle drops (Jimmy Eat World? Noice!) and cheer inducing vehicular mayhem that hits the spot just right, but is also the most basic – and therefore video game accurate – round yet. So as much as I enjoy the asphalt craziness and candy coloured missile trails, let’s focus more on those who fall in battle.
Considering that we’ve spent the best part of the season watching Stu and Mike come back together, seeing the latter suddenly take a chest-full of hollow points immediately forces you to realise that the gloves are well and truly off, but in a neat turn, the writers ensure that they shift the nature of the various deaths to fit accordingly. While Mike’s death is incredibly sudden and unpredictable, Raven’s demise is strangely emotional and drawn out after her ploy to use a “cheat code” backfires and she catches a windscreen full of boomerang bomb. But as her frazzled form tumbles out of her wrecked car, the show chooses to give her an epic send off as she reaches for a hallucination of her beloved Kelly. The final marquee name to meet a brutal end is Mr. Grimm and while for a split second there, we think show mascot Sweet Tooth has been sent off for an early shower in the afterlife, he’s crawls out of his overturned ice cream van to face his long-time adversary in a fist fight. It’s glorious and has a killer coup de grace, but I’m actually surprised that nothing more was made of their animosity of one another other than they both wanted to be the most feared inmate at their asylum, but when you get such a fan friendly moment, it’s hard to complain.
In fact, fan friendly seems to be the key word for the entire episode as it seems to be the most game-accurate episode so far. However, this proves to be a little bit of a double-edged sword for someone who is actually familiar with the original series as for every thing they accurate hint at (boomerang bombs, shields, Calypso getting all demonic, Mayhem spending time with the tournament’s creator), there’s something that doesn’t quite match up. With the introduction of a demonic looking final boss in the form of Minion we get a cool action sequence as he zips across the screen like a robotic super soldier, shooting lasers from his wrist. However, as someone who fought the dude many a time to get to the all important end of game screen, I couldn’t help by feeling a tiny bit let down that Calypso’s brutish surprise wasn’t driving around in a fucking tank, but I guess I should just shut my face and be thankful for the continued efforts to evoke a game that not that many people actually remember anymore.
With only a single episode to go, the tournament may be officially over, but we still have a fair amount of ground to cover. John is lying lifeless on the ground after his close encounter with Minion; Mayhem is making her move against Calypso; and Stu is still stunned that he’s somehow emerged as the accidental winner of the while thing. But surely the final installment has to shed some light on the mysterious back story of Calypso himself. Is he supernatural? What is his game? And what does he have to gain by suddenly blowing up his live audience? Twisted Metal may now be technically over, but there’s still time for one last victory lap.
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