After quartet of episodes that saw us witness the X-Men dumped all over time, the origin of Apocalypse and the epic murder of Magneto, it seems that the folks behind X-Men ’97 fancied offering up a much needed change of pace. However, notice that when I said “change of pace”, I didn’t suggest that things were actually slowing down, because while we sit with the fact that such an important character was utterly disintegrated before our very eyes, it’s time for a more Wolverine centred episode – y’know, because that always just calms things right down…
I have to say, I’ve always been impressed that the series has been able to keep Logan on such a tight leash as the movies infamously shoved the cantankerous Canuck directly into the spotlight for the majority. However, the animated series knows that if you’re going to let the rest of the ensemble be able to breathe, you’re going to have to keep those claws of his decidedly un-popped until the right moment. Well, it’s time for the best there is at what he does to step up to the plate – but does mean we get the best out of him?
After last week’s post credits tease, we discover what got Captain America so irked as we rejoin an adamantium-less Wolverine after he’s reformed a team of former Weapon X members to disband the murderous think-tank once and for all. While the ever-loyal Morph tags along to represent the X-Men, Logan somehow has managed to get Sabretooth, Lady Deathstrike, Maverick and Garrison Kane all together into the back of a jet despite the fact that a good number of them are hated enemies. But as they streak toward the latest Weapon X facility, disaster strikes almost immediately when their craft goes down thanks to a flock of mutated birds.
While the notoriously durable group mostly survive the crash and the attack of a genetically altered polar bear, it seems that Weapon X founder Abraham Cornelius has gotten into some pretty hard-core research.
As a search of the trashed laboratory reveals countless mauled bodies of hapless, expendable lab-coats, this team of killers discover that they may have met their match in the form of the Brood, bug-like aliens who inject their DNA into their victims in order to ungrade their species. After getting hold of one and tinkering with it, Cornelius has set the stage for a full blown invasion of earth unless Logan’s team of lunatics can stop cheap-shotting each other at every given opportunity.
However, an assault by insectoid DNA molesters isn’t the only problems the group has. Switching from Aliens to the Thing (Carpenter, not Kirby) there’s a very good chance that one of the group has already been infected by a Brood egg, and worse yet, undead Russian weapon Omega Red is lurking in the bowels of the facility too. But what could have possessed Logan to go there in the first place – is he truly wanting to bring Weapon X to a close once and for all, or does he have an ulterior motive?
After the time-hopping trauma of the Apocalypse arc, the powers that be are obviously ensuring that the momentum doesn’t lag by shifting focus to a determined Wolverine and his equally deranged gaggle of frenemies. However, despite the fact we get an all-action episode jam-packed full of boundary-pushing violence and sizable riffs on the works of both James Cameron and John Carpenter, if I’m being honest, there’s a fair few issues with “Weapon X, Lies And DVDs” that come directly from slapping together such a relentless action-fest. Now, I freely admit that some of this could easily be my fault as my brain is exceedingly foggy when it comes to material the original series has already covered, so I was unsure if some of the plot details the episode takes for granted were already established thirty years ago.
The main issue is the reformation of Wolverine’s old hit squad, Team X, who seem oddly cool with all teaming up and getting the band back together for one last hurrah. I have no issues with X-Men ’97 dredging up the like of deep cuts like Maverick or Garrison Kane, but I found it a little too convenient that the likes of Sabretooth and Lady Deathstrike would agree to tag along despite having long and bloody histories with Logan. If I’ve missed some decades old explanation to why such bitter enemies are willing to play nicey nicey, I’ll happily apologise, but I feel an extra episode that explained how Logan is able to convince a maniac like Sabretooth to suddenly march to Wolverine’s fife would have been appreciated. Yes, I understand that these stabby maniacs despise Weapon X, but I was always under the impression that they hated Wolverine even more. Oh well.
However, once we get into the meat of the episode, such annoyances fade a little into the background as episode 5 doubles down on delivering as much chaos as it legally can in such a short time frame. The second we’re done with Morph’s wise cracks, Deathstrike’s solemn words of wisdom or Sabretooth endless, goading (he’s such a hater), we launch into full-blown action/horror as we introduce Chris Claremont’s barely concealed Xenomorph substitute, the Brood, as they spill from vents, infect a member with an egg and reduce Garrison Kane and Maverick to mere lambs to the slaughter as the episode goes to some surprisingly brutal lengths to get the danger across. While it’s hardly surprising considering that the majority of characters feature stabby powers, it’s still quite a shock to see Kane impaled on a tree, Sabretooth’s flesh graphically stripped to the bone from an explosion and the various, twisted corpses of the Weapon X staff lying all around like grisly throw pillows. Similarly, the sudden addition of Omega Red to put a human(ish) face on the threat seems frankly unnecessary considering how dangerous the Brood are on their own. However, on the other hand, a lot of these issues are nicely circumvented by the fact that watching Team X slice the shit out of alien bugs simply fucking rocks. Elsewhere, there’s some good drama between odd-mutant out, Morph and his idol, Wolverine, when the shapeshifter realises that Logan’s conned them all into coming here and risking their lives purely so he can get his adamantium restored. Trust between them is strained ever further when it turns out that Logan is the one playing “The Thing” has his alien form proves to be magnificently intimidating, but once again, those plotting issues arise when it’s discovered that the only thing that can purge the Brood DNA is… you guessed it, the adamantium process. It’s a choice example of some 90s animated series plotting, so it’s not like it ruins the experience, but considering how majestically the Apocalypse saga turned out, maybe come for the action and don’t pay too much attention to the plotting.
Even if we celebrate the middle point of season 2 with it’s weakest episode, there’s something undeniably bad-ass about watching mutantdom’s most talented killers slice and dice alien crickets into thick, green mush. Don’t think to hard about it and “Weapon X, Lies And DVDs” absolutely rules – but next week, I’d appreciate being able to re-engage my brain once more.
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