After something of a barnstorming begining, season 5 of Tales From The Crypt comes back down to earth with a bump with “Food For Thought”, a somewhat muddled entry that throws everything it can at you that includes circus freaks, killer gorillas and Ernie Hudson overacting up a storm. Directed by Rodman Flender – the man responsible for The Unborn, Leprechaun 2 and who went on to make the criminally under-appreciated Idle Hands – it’s an episode that once again takes full advantage of a circus setting as melodrama, lust and murder runs rampant.
However, while the episode certainly gives you enough bang for your buck and some genuinely startling sights, it’s precisely that chaotic nature that prevents the installment engaging us as fully as it could as it drags us through it’s cavalcade of horrors. Maybe Fleder was so stoked to be directing a Crypt, that he threw as much stuff at the wall to see what would stick – but for once, all the over the (big) top shit actually makes things too distracting.
The Great Zambini is something of a sizable personality, as he holds court over the other performers at a circus; but while all the other acts and freaks tend to get along, the eccentric man is far more dangerous than they could ever dream of. Paranoid to the extent that he now never removes his facepaint, he is one half of a mind reading act that’s completed by his wife, Connie, who actually is a natural telepath; however, his abusive behavior towards his long suffering spouse was forged the day he actually abducted her off the streets to use her power to make money. Not stopping at just being a shitty husband with sexually deviant urges, Zambini has become obsessed with his wife’s abilities and vows to learn how to become a telepath himself.
Understandably tired of her husband’s violently controlling ways, Connie has sought comfort with Johnny, the circus’ fire eater, who suggests that they both run away and get normal jobs to begin their life anew. However, when their urges inevitably lead to passion, Zambini is finally able to read Connie’s mind and promptly does away with his love rival with the use of a darkly ironic splash of gasoline and the spark of a match. Distraught, Connie still tries to leave, but now that his mental powers are coming into their own, Zambini attempts to go all Professor X on her and will her back with his new and improved brain matter.
However, unbeknownst to him, the mind he’s communicating with isn’t actually Connie, but someone else who had a soft spot for the murdered Johnny, and Zambini is horrified to discover that he’s actually summoned Nabunga, the huge, frequently mistreated, circus gorilla that Johnny used to care for Soon the perverted circus performer discovers that his brain has yet another unexpected ability. It’s delicious.
There’s quite a lot going on here as this episode seems to be trying to put in a little something for everyone. The notion of a murderous simian feels very Murders In The Rue Morgue from Edgar Allan Pie, and a sleazy carnival setting has certainly worked out well for Tales From The Crypt before thanks to the likes of “Dig That Cat… He’s Real Gone” and “Lower Berth”. What’s more, there’s nothing more fun than a recognisable actor coming in and using their Crypt appearance to just overact the living fuck out of their part, which is exactly what Ghostbusters’ Ernie Hudson does as he spends the entire episode slathered in clown-like face paint and bellowing like a loon. However, while I’ve frequently commended many episodes for their lack of restraint in the past, there really is just too much going on in “Food For Thought” for the episode to properly focus on what’s actually important.
Also, for an episode that’s packed so tightly with weird shit, the story often lacks the proper room to breathe, it also manages to somehow drag at times, as it gradually winds itself towards an ending that comes quite out of left field, but you certainly can’t deny Fleder’s enthusiasm. I mean, what other show would take the unnecessary measures to detail that the circus’ conjoined sisters are joined at the breasts, and then go on further to show that Phil Fondacaro’s diminutive ringmaster is a peeping tom? It does nothing for the overall story, and even detracts from the main thread (conjoined boobs are hardly an everyday sight), but it does help add to the skanky ambience that a twisted carnival setting has demanded since the days of Todd Browning’s Freaks. In the midst of all this narrative noise, it’s no real surprise that Hudson feels the need to bellow all of his lines like he’s trying to perform live in a hurricane, and while I do love a good bout of overacting, he slices the ham so much, he succeeds in drowning out everyone else.
Now, while I realise that’s the point, as Zambini is supposed a very domineering personality, but he’s so big all that all of the other characters fail to make much of impact, especially when Hudson is graphically mimicking cunnilingus to Joan Chen’s Connie as he licks a plate clean. Similarly, the affair between Chen and John Laughlin’s fire eater is missing any real passion to really drive home the tragedy of Johnny’s blazing murder, and some of the set-up of the final twist could have been made clearer, especially as it’s easy to be unprepared for the sight of a massive gorilla suddenly bursting into Zambini’s trailer to get herself some revenge.
While Fleder first episode doesn’t quite manage to nail all of the necessary emotional beats, there’s still a fair amount to enjoy here – for example, he certainly nails that skeevy, carny atmosphere with aplomb in a way that might even exceed previous Crypt excursions to the circus. Elsewhere, while the ending initially doesn’t make sense unless you’re really paying attention (more could have been made of Zambini accidently getting his mental wires crossed with Nabunga to make it clearer), the final sight of the hulking gorilla slurping the brains out of the performer’s severed head is certainly impressive and is a memorably big finish for a show famously recognised for its extreme denouements. However, despite the luxurious gore, it just doesn’t land as well as it could have, simply because of all that plot-based clutter. Still, it ain’t dull, and we get to see the Crypt Keeper try a spot of kack-handed dentistry to boot, but “Food For Thought” could have benefited by being a tad more nourishing.
While carrying all the usual, carny craziness a circus-set episode often delivers, season 5 of Tales From The Crypt stuggles to keep up the high-quality triple threat of its three-episode premiere. While I can’t quite believe that I’m rating a murderous, brain-eating gorilla and a ranting Ernie Hudson so low, this installment could have used less thoughts and more heart.
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