Some films ingrain themselves on your psyche with the intensity of a laser aimed at a secret agent’s crotch and creates an indelible core memory that can practically become life affirming – and some films are Red 2.
The first Red – Robert Schwentke’s glib, campy, 2010 spy flick based on the graphic novel by Warren Ellis – wasn’t a super memorable cinematic in the first place, but it did its job to decent enough effect and all the more Mattie members of the cast look like they were having fun, so we kind of let it slide despite the actioner being fairly unremarkable.
However, fans of disposable comedy/thriller must have been give thanks to their incredibly beige God when Red 2 eventually came down the pipe. However, while the sequel doubles down on famous, aging actors getting to late their hands on vast amounts of automatic weapons, the film triples down on being the action movie equivalent of white noise that impressively refuses to stick in the memory even as you’re watching it.
Retired CIA killing machine Frank Moses is trying diligently to live the quiet suburban life with girlfriend Sarah Ross without a single silenced fire arm of random explosion in sight, however, as he struggles to live like a civilian, crazed, paranoid, former colleague Marvin Boggs keeps popping up with warning that they’re all in danger. But that’s the thing about conspiracy nuts – they only have to be right once and before you know it, Frank is attending Marvin’s funeral after a car bomb takes him out of the picture.
It seems that once again, Frank’s shadowy past has risen up to put a major crimp in his day, with corrupt agent Jack Horton making several attempts on the retiree’s life and even bringing in Frank’s old enemy, superlative contract killer Han Cho-Bai, in to finish the job. However, as Frank and Sarah go on the run and try to get to the bottom of a plot that contains smuggled nuclear weapons, countless agents with questionable motives and countless fire fights. But while Frank does everything he can to try and keep Sarah out of danger, Sarah is positively loving being smack bang in the middle of yet another globe trotting government conspiracy and couldn’t be happier when some familiar – and new – face pop up to either help or hinder.
Marvin is around, of course – what, you didn’t think that car bomb had actually killed him, did you? – and also popping out of the woodwork is debonair assasin Victoria and her Russian paramore Ivan. But rubbing her up the wrong way is the appearance of Frank’s old flame, the sultry Russian agent Katja who muddied the waters even further.
Simultaneously trying to avert a global disaster while trying to make sure his relationship survives, Frank’s cool nature is sorely tested as bullets and emotional issues fly at him from all angles.
I have to be honest, I had to crib most of the above synopsis from wikipedia because try as I might, my brain simply could not be bothered to unravel the convoluted plot of this globe-crossing. It’s not that it’s super complex or anything, it’s just that Red 2 is one of those spy films where you can just zone out and yet somehow still follow the basic plot completely. I mean, you won’t keep track of what country they’re supposed to be in despite the frenzied use of surprisingly ugly title cards and you won’t be entirely sure what exactly the good guys are trying to achieve other than stop the bad guys, but bizarrely it doesn’t seem to matter much.
Simply put, Red 2 is the Mission: Impossible equivalent of an Adam Sandler comedy where everyone has absolutely not intention of doing anything more strenuous than collect a paycheck and have great fun goofing around on set with like minded actors. The fact that such a starry, talented cast is having a giggle by just letting their hair down (apologies to Willis and Malkovich), proves to be just amount of fun to offset the fact that you won’t be even remotely engrossed in the stakes.
Willis seems releaved that despite being the lead of a sizable action ensemble, he really doesn’t have to do that much except be preternaturally glib and deliver that patented smirk of his whenever the plot needs it, although Mary-Louise Parker’s excitable Sarah has now gone from quirky audience surrogate to exaggerated thrill seeker frays the nerves. However, joining them is a sizable ensemble who seem to be game to just show up, drop some slick lines with a minimum of effort and then bow out when their schedule demands they fly the coop. John Malkovich’s permanently suspicious Marvin and Helen Mirren’s purring, gun totting Victoria still retain their charm, but some if the newer entrants struggle to make much of an impact. Anthony Hopkins’ babbling, insane physicist is as distracting as the babbling, insane lord he played in Transformers 5, but I do appreciate the effort the film makes to get him and a returning Brian Cox into the same frame for a meeting of Hannibal Lectors. Catherine Zeta Jones does a standard, untrustworthy, female fatal thing as she sweeps from scene to scene dressed vaguely like Carmen Santiago and Lee Byung-hun’s assassin is just a variation of his other, American appearances as a cold-eyed killer. However, the new faces, along with Neal McDonough’s ineffectual villain, David Thewlis’ murderous wine connoisseur and a random appearance of Steven Berkoff, fail to make an impact in a film that, by design, is made to pull its punches.
It’s a shame, because director Dean Parisot has had magnificent luck with ensembles in the past with the criminally undervalued Galaxy Quest, but the fact that Red 2 is almost pathology breezy in its intent, its tough to feel anything other that the string of mid-level laughs the movie brings.
And yet, everyone looks like they’re having genuine fun simply just being there and fucking about with some broad characters while shooting off some cool guns. The sight of Mirren duel wielding handguns as her unbelievably sexy Lotus drifts through traffic is predictably awesome, is as Byung-hun slicing parked traffic in half with a hail of minigun fire, but while the overall effect is fairly cool. Red 2 is mostly a superlative example of cinematic amnesia that displays way more stealth when negotiating you memory than any of the spies seen in the movie itself.
Still, better red than dead.
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