Even someone who can orchestrate action at the level John Woo was operating at during the late 80s needs to let their hair down at some point, I guess. This pretty much explains the existence of Once A Thief, a breezy, frothy, action comedy that stands out like a sore thumb when you realise that it sits between Bullet In The Head and Hard Boiled in Woo’s impressive filmography.
Once again featuring Woo’s impossibly charismatic muse, Chow Yun-Fat and a smattering of the type of deranged gunplay that made the director a legend, this action comedy nevertheless feels noticably uneven when compared to the melodramatic maelstroms that the maestro of mayhem was churning out during his heyday.
Still, even when he’s feing more in a playful mood, John Woo is still John Woo and Once A Thief manages to bust out the odd moment of value among some truly strange bouts of comedy.
After growing up on the streets as orphans, the trio of Red Bean Puddin, Red Bean and *checks notes* James, grow up under the tutelage of a crime boss and gradually go from accomplished pickpockets to full blown thieves who make their living pulling off audacious heists to acquire priceless art for less than reputable collectors. On top of this, they live something of a playboy lifestyle with Red Bean Puddin and Red Bean enjoying something of a tempestuous relationship while James plays the dashing third wheel.
But after pulling of their latest job with the help of fast cars, unnecessary stunts and a parachute, the trio start to think about retiring for good and start planning one last job.
While Red Bean would rather they get out of the crime business now, rather than later, James goes off on his own to try and snag a painting that’s under more security than the Crown Jewels which means Red Bean Pudding has to play big brother and help him out when things get a bit dicey – especially when a large number of goons with automatic weapons suddenly show up.
In the ensuing firefight/car chase, Red Bean Puddin is presumed as dead as you can be when you decide to jump a car into a speedboat in order to protect the man you consider a brother and in the grief that follows over a period of time, both James and Red Bean predictably fall in love – thus fully predicting the plot of Pearl Harbour almost perfectly when Red Bean Puddin shows up alive and well(ish) years later.
However, now confined to a wheelchair, Red Bean Puddin informs his orphan siblings that they are going to have to take another crack at that painting that thwarted them last time in order to smoke out a shadowy mastermind who has links to their past.
While I certainly don’t blame Woo for wanting to attempt something far lighter after the crushing drama of the notoriously heavy Bullet In The Head, Once A Thief seemingly suffers from the fact that the director has no idea what type of comedy he wants to make. The opening tone of a trifecta of ragamuffins becoming slick, talented art thieves is a cracker of an idea and the fact that there’s also a love triangle thrown in there to boot is so perfect for Woo’s particular brand of telenovela melodrama – but the director seems so burnt out from the sheer seriousness of his previous movie that saw a trio of friends viciously turn on each other during the horrors of the Vietnam war, he doesn’t seem at all bothered about trying to persue those themes in any way that sticks.
For a start, Chow Yun-Fat’s Red Bean Puddin seems like an absolute fucking nightmare to date in the first place, constantly playing pranks on her at the worst times and casually referring to her as a bitch during robberies. Conversely, Cherie Chung’s Red Bean has little more to play with than just being “the woman” in this little trio and aside from driving the car (badly, according to her boyfriend) and being the interpreter for some of the most broad portrayals of French criminals you’ve ever seen, she has nothing to add other than just being the focal point of the love triangle. Technically coming off best is A Better Tomorrow’s Leslie Chung as the quieter, slicker James who not only is mercifully spared from having a stupid, bean-centric nickname, but gets to look cool in the face of Yun-Fat’s full on capering.
The plot is pure bobbins and only seems to be put in place because Woo really, really wants to shoot some intricate heist scenes that includes stuff like spotting security lasers by looking through a glass of red wine even though they hold less scientific water than a paper bag. But like I said, maybe he needed to blow off some steam before he went on to mount the greatest, craziest gun fight movie ever with Hard Boiled.
I mean, there’s certainly moments of diving, shooty goodness on show here, but it feels like Woo’s begrudgingly agreed to include some simply because it was expected from the man who unleashed The Killer onto our unsuspecting eyeballs and as a result, this is a far more silly version of the director we’re used to as he grampa the stylised camp up to Joel Schumacher levels. Now, I’m not saying it’s bad – far from it in fact and the absurdity that Woo crams in the final twenty minutes makes you wish he had managed to hold that cartoonish tone more consistently for the rest of the film. Not only do we get Yun Fat somehow avoiding copious amounts of gunfire while whizzing around in his wheelchair, but later the movie suddenly drops a henchman on us who attempts to kill our heroes with close up magic as he flicks lethal cards at them like a cut price Bullseye. However, I am disgusted to report that despite the presence of a full blown magician in this film, Woo somehow manages to resist including any flapping doves in the film at all, which is just a missed opportunity no matter which way you slice it. But the last act reveal that Red Bean Puddin has only been faking being wheelchair bound proves to be as riotously fun as it is insultingly stupid as that means he’s been putting everybody’s lives at risk while he’s been wheeling himself around through life or death situations. Quite frankly, it makes him seem even more of a manipulative prick despite Yun Fat’s famous, weapons grade charm.
Oh, and that comedy ending is fucking hideous – even for a 90s Hong Kong movie.
Still, the fact that Once A Thief is as watchable as it is is surely testament to exactly how much of a creative hot streak Woo was on during that time in his life and even though it’s plainly the least in a string on almost uninterrupted bangers, it obviously holds a dear place in the director’s heart as he remade it to be the pilot of a Canadian TV series around five years later that lasted only a single series.
Disjointed, trite and distractingly silly at times, Once A Thief is probably best watched in a vacuum considering how deadly serious the tone of Woo’s other films were. But taken as it’s own thing, the craziness frequently wins you over even if Woo’s comedic aim seems to be as inconsistent as one of the goons from his own films.
All those bullets fired and the film barely grazes greatness…
🌟🌟🌟
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