What constitutes a good remake? Is it the adapting of an existing plot into contemporary times that makes the original concept as fresh as ever? Is it the utilisation of modern technology to realise an established world in ways the original filmmakers could have never even dreamed of? Or is it that they’ve included actresses with way bigger boobs? If your heartfelt selection from my musings happened to be the boobs one, then you’re in luck my friend as the 2009 Night Of The Demons remake will probably suit you right down to the ground.
For those not in the know, the original Night Of The Demons was something of a goofier rip-off of Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead that saw an unfeasibly horny group of 80s teens hold a party in an abandoned mansion and subsequently all get seduced and possessed by a demonic entity that inhabits the body of the teen’s bitchiest member, Angela. As an 80s gore-fest, Kevin S. Tenney’s movie was fun, but hardly a classic – but in the frenzied, remake goldrush that occured in the noughties, any horror film was fair game.
Desperate to keep her shapely butt off the streets, broke opportunist Angela Feld decides to hold a Halloween blow out at a local mansion that has something of a history for mass murders as unexplained and bloody happenings previously occured after a séance back in 1925. However, Angela cares as little for this as the script apparently cares about logic as she somehow puts together a huge bash with decorations, plentiful booze and a DJ despite having no money to pay her rent.
At this point we are introduced to our three leads; three women of uncertain age who go by the names of Maddie, Lily and Suzanne and while the latter two are drama attracting booze hounds, Maddie is by far the more responsible and level headed of the three despite having her own issues with her drug dealing ex-boyfriend, Colin who is in deep water with his suppliers. Still, despite the party going well, the police crashes the place and turfs everybody out except for Angela, Maddie, Lily, Suzanne, Colin and two other guys – Lily’s ex, Dex and his geeky buddy Jason, who remain locked inside.
Of course, that give the malevolent spirit that naturally still lurks in the house to declare these partygoer’s bodies as free real estate and after possessing Angela via an infected skeleton bite (just go with it), the demonic bitch goes on to seduce and destroy the others in order to turn them into a army straight from Hell.
All the survivors have to do to live is make it to the dawn, but with people dropping like flies and raising like zombies, how can this even be possible?
At the start of this review I waxed lyrical about the nature of remakes and what makes a good one (and I think I mentioned boobs in there somewhere) and if were judging Night Of The Demons ’09 against its progenitor, then you’d have to consider it something of a success. Yes, it keeps the basic premise intact, yes it keeps the original’s tone and yes, those aforementioned boobs are magnificent – but it’s not really one of those movies that can survive long once severed from the umbilical of its franchise. Compared to the rest of the franchise, Adam Gierasch fares pretty well and comes fairly close to the silly, self-mocking high-point of the second movie as it realises that killer prosthetics, off-colour shenanigans and a cool soundtrack are far more important than a solid script and grounded performances when it comes to achieving the film’s goals – whatever the hell they may be.
Certainly helping is the fact that the film has a surprisingly recognizable cast of attractive, B-list faces that each have respectable prior experience in the horror genre. Most noticable is former, 90s siren Shannon Elizabeth who may have made her name bearing all in American Pie, but she also got her hands dirty in the likes of Scary Movie and Thirteen Ghosts and while she doesn’t look like she’s having quite as much fun as original Angela, Amelia Kinkade, she seems to be enjoy playing a demonic bitch. Elsewhere we find Freddy Vs. Jason’s Monica Keena as the final girl and Diora (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) Baird and Bobbi Sue (Last To Rest) Luther and all are equally game to endure some weird, sexual kink in order to turn them into some imaginatively designed monsters. One has her face and breasts ripped off after a lesbian encounter, another is turned after a particularly spirited bout of anal sex transforms her into a shark-like beast who spouts tentacles from her nipples, and it’s this level of mean-spirited body horror that ties it so favourably to the first film.
It even relays the funky lipstick in the nipple trick from the original – albeit with a further, squeamish twist – and continues the dumb and admittedly misogynist streak of kickabout humour that Kevin Tenney infused the series with. While those who take these things more seriously may openly wonder why the film’s final girl may find the idea of someone hoping to have sex with her friend if she passes out from booze when it doesn’t exactly endear you to any of the cast.
However, I guess “endearing” wasn’t exactly the tone the filmmakers were shooting for and if you get on board with its abrasive, drunken frat boy humour, it moves like a bat out of hell.
However, there’s a downside to having such a seasoned cast and – at the danger of sounding like a complete prick – it’s virtually impossible not to watch the movie without commenting at least a couple of times about how rough Edward Furlong looks. I mean, yes, he’s playing a skeevey looking drug dealer (how he managed to previously land Keena’s level headed character I’ll never know – maybe his weed is really fucking good) and his pale, bloated visage certainly reflects that. But despite the fact he looks not that different than I do now, you can’t help but announce just how long ago Terminator 2 really was.
Anyway, uttey unnecessary body shaming aside, the movie is fast paced and hedonistic enough to enjoyably waste an easy 90 minutes and fans of the orginal will no doubt appreciate the several nods to the original, right down to actress Linnea Quigley returning in her cameo to reenact that gratuitous shot of her butt neay twenty years later.
Anyone not enamored of throwback, wilfully crude gorefests that trade in basic storytelling for bitching prosthetics, kickass soundtrack (Concrete Blonde, people!) and buxom babes that will seemingly have sex with anyone will no doubt find Night Of The Demons a blight on their day. However, those who believe that every film would be instantly improved by tentacle spewing nipples will probably have fun with this enjoyable grotty redux.
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