Once Ridley Scott’s Gladiator threw open the door of possibilities and revived the expired sword and sandals epics that used to populate the cinema of the 50s and 60s, it was only a matter of time before other studios tested the waters to find out if it was just another passing fad. One of the more noticeable attempts was Troy, Wolfgang Peterson’s attempt to smoosh down Homer’s epic The Illiad into something that fit snugly into multiplexes the world over.
All the bells and whistles you’d expect were in place – an absurd scale; a massive, all-star cast that was spread over multiple generations; and rollicking battle scenes that caused countless extras to leak copious amounts of stage blood into the sand. But despite checking many boxes, could Troy manage to condense and convey Homer’s legendary story enough despite having a bladder busting two hour and thirty-five minute runtime to do it in? Opinion is mixed, but even though the film comes complete with an Achillies, it also means it has to have an achilles’ heel or two to go with him…
By 1184, the ambitious appetites of King Agamemnon united the Greek kingdoms almost entirely by conquerering them one by one and then grafting their vanquished armies onto his own. Most of his victories can be attributed to the mighty warrior known as Achillies, but the unkillable soldier has grown unruly and difficult to control due to his distaste of his King’s methods. However, an opportunity to expand his kingdom beyond the Aegean Sea raises itself when peace between Troy and Sparta – the kingdom of his bother, Menelaus – takes a sudden nosedive when Prince Paris runs back to Troy with the King’s young wife, Helen, on his arm.
Horrified that his younger brother would place his kingdom in such dire peril over love, big bro Hector races them back to the unbreechable city of Troy and girds his people for a nasty siege, knowing that Agamemnon will use this slight against his brother’s honor as an excuse to claim the city as his own. However, with the likes of Achillies, Odysseus and Ajax on his side, Agamemnon still finds it virtually impossible to break the walls or outflank the military savvy of Hector who holds all the aces thanks to the history of the formidable walls of Troy.
However, while those stone barriers hold fast, the various people on both sides of it don’t prove to be nearly as sturdy. Achillies’ distain of Agamemnon only increases once he meets the imprisoned cousin of Hector and Paris; the strain of keeping his city safe puts added pressure on Hector; and Helen soon finds that her guilt at the situation she’s caused may bring ruin to everyone involved. But with heroes and villains on both sides of this conflict, there’s no way that even half of those caught up in this Greek tragedy are destined to have a happy ending.
Troy is one of those films that requires a hefty amount of forgiveness from a certain contingent of it’s viewers. For a start, anyone who demands historical accuracy from their ancient epics may feel their eye twitch involuntarily with the sheer variation of accents on display here. Despite all the characters hailing from Greece, we get English accents, Irish accents, German accents, Scottish acccents, thinly disguised American and Australian accents – you name the the accent, chances are you’ll find it here (except, of course, greek). Of course, period epics have a long history of throwing factual caution to the wind and as The Illiad is a primarily fantastical tale, it’s not the end of the world that Peterson is injecting a whole bunch of unrealistic realism by staging it as a true-life historical epic. However, those who love the book may still rankle at some of the changes inflicted by scripter David (Game Of Thrones) Benioff in order to make certain parts fly for a 2004 blockbuster (Patroclus is Achillies “cousin”? Oh, okay then.).
However, even when you take all of this into account and are willing to let it slide, some parts of Peterson’s take simply work better than others. Some of the actors who have chosen to adopt more balanced accents (ie. English) audibly struggle trying to make some of their lines sound even remotely grounded. Brad Pitt’s Achillies and Eric Bana’s Hector both suffer from this malady numerous times, but thankfully are bailed out by the rising sense of dread that arises when we realise that these two highly decent men are destined to eventually battle to the death due to circumstances far beyond their control. Similarly, other high points include some nicely robust battle scenes and the sight of Pitt milking a luxurious blond wig while casually one-shotting his enemies proves to make many amends for his wavering accent. His stylish dispatching of a hulking Nathan Jones or the genuinely tense face-off with Hector makes that exceedingly long runtime come alive.
However, despite some robust action and a juicy smattering of senior character actors (Brian Cox, Brenda Gleeson, Peter O’Toole) chewing the expansive scenery, large chunks of Troy end up falling frustratingly flat. While the affair between Orlando Bloom’s Paris and Diane Kruger’s Helen may have launched a thousand (admittedly impressive) ships, it doesn’t launch any emotions other than a profound sense of irritation. Kruger at least looks worried that her decisions have had extreme ramifications, but Bloom’s spoilt pretty-boy ends up displaying the spine of the earthworm and it’s all you can do to fight the urge to reach into the screen a slap the shit out of him. While heaping flaws upon the character does aid the plot when setting it’s many tragedies in motion, it does so at the cost of making Paris so incredibly hate-worthy, which ends up unbalancing much of the final film. The love between he and Helen needed to be so transcendent so you could understand why everyone would risk the threat of an invasion, but as it stands, the actors portray the legendary affair like a high school fling.
Maybe if the Gods have been reinserted back into the story and a sense of fantasy allowed to breathe, maybe I could have sustained my disbelief in the central romance irking me so much. But while Troy’s robust runtime will test the heartiest of bladders, it’s still only a mere fraction of Homer’s original tale; but while those ignorant of the source material may find lots of Gladiator-style thrills in the battles and drama, there’s far more to explore in this particular Troy story.
While Troy comes complete with some genuinely great moments (seriously, Achillies vs Hector is an all-timer), it’s negative points prove to stay with you far longer than everything else. Peterson’s attempts to keep the sword and sandals flag flying is admirable, and you can’t deny the artistry at work here; but beyond Pitt’s preening and a fittingly sizable scale, Troy is ultimately a attempt that’ll likely anger the Gods.
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